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boyfriend wants adoption for 2nd child :|

my boyfriend said that if i am pregnant we should give it up for adoption... i really am only 10% on the idea... because of our situation he just recently lost his job and we have a 11 month old baby already.. except if i were to give this one up to adoption i would never want to get pregnant again because it would just be wrong of me to have another child ... so i would get my tubes tied... i know its messed up but... now im just scared because of how he would treat this one if i do keep it... will he love the baby???

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (19)
  • wow this is a loaded question. Maybe he is just scared financially. It is a huge responsibility for dads. Do you work? How does he treat your 11 month old? Is your relationship stable? there is alot to consider. You shouldn give up the baby just for him or just for financial reasons. How old are you? You could always raise the babies yourself. He may come around and if he doesnt tehn you may have to leave him but you dont have to give up your baby jsut because he isnt ready yet. This is a big lifelong decision.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:49 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • if you arent 100% sure about the choice, dont do it. times can be tough, but that is not a reason to give away ur baby. you never kno when ur situation might turn around, then if things are better off, there is no way for u to get your baby back. is there someone in your family that you could give temporary gardianship to? that way when u are back on ur feet, u still have that bundle of joy in ur life. i am not judging you. if you honestly believe u could not provide for your baby's basic needs (shelter, food, diapers, medical attention, and love) then maybe its the best thing to do by putting him/her for adoption. i would wait, pray, and talk about it with your bf and family.

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 4:52 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • OH Hunny !!!! Please think really long and hard about this !!!!! When I was 16 I gave up my baby girl it was the hardest thing I have ever done and it hurts so bad !!!!!! If you have a strong support system from family please consider keeping the baby. I think that you and your boyfriend need to sit down and have a heart to heart !!! There are lots of programs out there that help struggling families !!!!!!! THINK LONG AND HARD !!!!!!!!! It will effect your entire life !!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Just because he does not want another child right now. Does not mean you have to give the baby up. Is your SO more important then any other future children? If so give the child up or abort it. If not tell him how you feel and deal with consequences.


    Answer by louise2 at 4:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • GULP! As much as it is also his baby, he has no right to put pressure on you to give up your child. He might surprise you and be great with the new baby, but if he doesn't, is that really someone you want to spend your life with? He might be your 11 month olds Daddy, but if he can treat ANY baby badly, he is not a good person. I promise you if you give the baby up because of pressure from him, you will never forgive him. There is never an ideal time to have another baby, we all worry about finances, but if you love and want this little one, be strong for yourself, the baby and it's big sister/brother. Don't let him make your decision, it is too important, and the long term consequences are huge

    Answer by myheartx4 at 4:58 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • DO NOT GIVE THAT BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. how could you give your childs sister or brother, your baby up for adoption??? of course he will love it, once he sees it, and sees you can make it work.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 5:16 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Do not do it if you are not 100% sure you want to.

    Answer by hisblueeyes at 5:39 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • This is YOUR decision. Do not let your boyfriend try to force you to place your child for adoption if you don't want to. If you think he will treat this child (or any of you) badly, you should seriously consider whether you should be with him at all. I had a boyfriend years ago before my husband, and when I thought I was pregnant (very late and couldn't afford a home pg test), he insisted that I abort. I told him I would not do that, and that I wasn't sure what I would do. He pretty much drove the last few nails in the coffin of that relationship right then. As others have said, there is help out there. I hope you will choose life for this baby, and think hard and pray about whatever decision you make. Talk to some people who have been through this!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 5:43 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Take the time to think this through. You have one child with this man and may be pregnant again but he has not chosen to marry you and does not want another baby. Are you independently wealthy? Do you think it is fair for a child to grow up without a father or with an unwilling father?

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 6:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2010


    maybe this is also an option for you to keep and raise both your children

    Answer by adopteeme at 7:05 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

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