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My mother hates my husband. Any advice?

My mother cant stand my husband. She doesnt hide the fact that from the moment that she met him she couldnt stand him, and still cant stand him. She said that she has given him many chances, and that it hasnt helped. She still hates him. She claims that my husband has to take charge of everything, and always be in charge, and that runs everything, including me. I will admit that my husband has a take charge personality, which is what makes him a great manager. (He manages a grocery store). He does not, how ever, run me or my household, contrary to what she thinks, and I am quite happy with mine and his relationship. ----- On a side note, my mother has an extremely controlling personality. Always has, always will.----

This issue is surfacing even more because it is my sons seventh birthday on Saturday, and I discussed with my husband what we wanted to do for his birthday and my mom is disagreeing with it.......

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • tell her she had a husband to boss and manipulate and its not yours,you are happy with who he is,and he treat you well
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 5:38 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • As long as you, your husband and child are happy and no one is being abused, what your mother thinks does not matter. It sounds harsh to say one's mother's opinion does not matter but you are a grown woman and you need to worry about what makes your immediate family happy. To top it off, you admit she has a controlling personality so I doubt she'd be happy with anyone you married unless they let her run your marriage. I say have your son's birthday however you and your husband want. She has no business interfering.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:40 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Hmmm. Well, my mother in law hates me. My husband told her that I am his WIFE, and if she cannot handle it, then he cannot see her.

    And he hasn't seen her in quite a long time. There was one point where she tried to make amends, but it didn't last long.

    Your husband is the only family you get to choose. She needs to understand that you HAVE chosen him, and she needs to keep her dislike to herself or you cannot see her.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:40 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Tell her that her negativity is causing problems with your family, and you are not going to stand for anything that will damage your great relationship , not even her
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 5:44 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Simply say this is what we are doing for the birthday and if you are that against it you dont have to attend.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 5:46 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • It your and your hubands son, not hers not really her decision and I would tell her that if she wants to be involved inhis day to play nice and shut up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • you should always love and respect your parents but when you marry, your first loyalty is to your spouse. they become the primary family. this is for the happiness and security of the children. your children need you and dh to have a happy marriage. if this is working, grandparents are nice but not neccessary. when your mother tells you that your dh is running the show tell her yes he is it's his show to run. it's your job to spoil the grandchildren.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • You picked her knowing she hated her and now you have to stand up to your mother and fight this battle. Let her know that she can hate him all she wants but that it is your husband and if you're happy with im let her know you're. She can also disagree with the party but it's your child and she can give input but not expect it to go her way since it's your kids. She raised her kids and it's your turn to make the decisions for your own children.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 6:00 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Do not let her opinions cause problems in your marriage. Some moms are very outspoken, like mine. She had trouble accepting my husband. She kept seeing her past mistakes in my life (even though that was not the case) and was very vocal about it. You need to talk with her one on one and let her know that you are married, you are happy and that her negative attitude is not going to do anything positive for anyone involved. Believe it or not the more she is "allowed" to be present with her rude and inconsiderate comments to your husband and her bad attitude the more problems it can cause. As her daughter, you have to be the one to tell her that she has no right to act that way in front of your husband and children. I think moms who are very controling have this problem because they are no longer in control of our lives and they freak out and act crazy when they feel out of control.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • My mother wanted to run my marriage........I finally had to go my separate way from her. I did'nt like it, but it was easier to love her from afar, than be near her. She was trouble
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 11:51 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

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