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Does your husband give you a hard time for being a SAHM?

I am just curious to see how many husbands of you SAHM have a husband who is supportive that you are home 24/7 taking care of the kids and the house? does he see it as hard work? or does he think it's easy? does he feel that since he works and pays rent and bills that he gets 80% say so?
i ask because I am home full time and I do EVERYTHING around the house he doesn't even move his eating mess from table to counter....and he doesn't think he really needs to help with the kids because he thinks him working is him helping. He also thinks even if we are occuppying the tv or x box that he can override us and do what he wants on them because he pays for the utilities. And anytime we talk about money he says it HIS money cuz he made it and I don't work so I can't decide where money goes

 
mommy492006

Asked by mommy492006 at 8:30 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 5 (59 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (45)
  • HIS money????? Not unless he is cutting you a check for your work at home!!! I am a sahm and the way it works is. I WORK at home (cause it IS work anyone who disagrees is not doing it right) and dh works at his job. When he comes home the "second-shift" starts. We both entertain the kids and if I cook he cleans the kitchen and vice-versa. By your hubby's reasoning then you work 24/7 and he doesn't. Sounds like BS to me!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • No, its OUR money hes said that to me multiple times I still feel like its his though....... He knows everything I go through, before he joined the Army I was the one working and he was the one staying at home. Right now me being a SAHM is the best thing for us however I dont want to do this for 18 years, he knows and respects that and is helping me go through college.
    I am so sorry that your husband feels that way.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 8:36 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • My dh is extremely supportive with me being a SAHGM... yep, I have custody of my grandson and gave up teaching to be home with him ... now that he is in school full time (3rd grade now), I have really enjoyed being at home, and tho we have made some cuts bc we are a one income household, such as going down to one car, no cable tv, etc... he is still very supportive that since I haven't worked in as many yrs raising our grandson since birth, that he actually told me that I do not have to go back to work, but if I wanted to I could.He likes coming to a straighten up house, dinner ready, and our family time ... if I need help he is there, most often tho, I do the work and don't mind doing it.

    Have you talked to your dh and explain to him just how much you actually do all day? Some times men think that that doing housework isn't much and that we sit all day, maybe he needs to hear it from you what you do.
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 8:44 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • As for who's money... My dh cashes his check and hands me the money to pay the bills and do what I need to do....
    He says it's part of my job as a SAHGM... all he ask for is his normal gas money allowance and a little spending cash (if there is any...LOL...)
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 8:47 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • No, my hubby has seen how much the house gets out of control when I'm sick, or away from town, and he has tried to take care of everything.

    He's grateful for what I do, and it's OUR money. We're a team, with a pretty fair division of responsibilities.

    If I feel like he's slacking, I just ask him directly and specifically to do a chore or two. I don't think guys get what we want when we say generic things like "I want you to do more around the house." But if I say, "will you take out all the trash before you go to bed tonight," there's no mistake or confusion about what I want.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • No - we made the decision together for me to stay home. If he hadn't been supportive of having a wife who was a SAHM, I wouldn't have continued to date and eventually married him. It's our money, and he has no problem with me spending on things I want/need - however, we do consult each other on major purchases. We have two tvs, so if the kids or I are watching something he's not into, he will usually go watch his show on the other tv but he wouldn't change what the kids/I were watching. That's incredibly rude!
    He doesn't do as much around the house as I do, much I don't expect him to either. He will do anything I ask him to, and now that I'm 29 weeks pregnant with #5, he's doing a lot more than usual!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:42 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Sorry to hear about your husband. It sucks to see some men do not appriciate how much a SAHM have to sacrifies in her life. Your Dh reminds me of my ex BF. He used to be so controlling and would not help around the house even though we worked in the same company and come home together. I had to cook even if we came home at 2 in the morning. And clean up after dinner. He would not even lift his plate to the sink. It was my job. wow! i am glad I did not marry this guy and pretty much got out once I got a good job. Now I am SAHM and loving my Dh. He is totally different and he does not force me to work. I do everthing in the house but when I am tired he would help out in the kitchen or take care of our son even though he had a tiring day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • No, my husband is the one that wanted me to stay home full time. I work from home now, but he wasn't fond of that idea either. He grew up with a mom that worked because his dad was a drunk and then died when he was a teen... He didn't want my kids to go through that... And felt it was the best that I was home since he could support us... He has never once asked us how much I spend or where... I am in charge of all the money... In fact, I get on him about where it goes more than anything! lol!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • No, we made this decision together, and we are partners. He makes money, I manage money. We work together on our budget, including each other's "free" money, and come to an agreement about what is best for our family, not what we as individuals want.
    whiteroses82

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 10:05 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • My DH is 100% supportive of me being a SAHM. He acknowledges that it is hard work and often encourages me to pamper myself. But i am also literally doing it all by myself. DH is in Germany (Army) so the only way he helps is emotionally and financially.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:19 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

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