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I don't know what to think right now....

I've been married to my husband, my first boyfriend and first real kiss, for almost seven years. I'm 17 weeks pregnant with our third child and we have a five year old and a three year old. I caught him looking at porn tonight. I didn't say much, but he explained that he's been struggling with this for many years. I don't know what to think or feel, really. I've never had any experience like this. He's promised not to do it again, and I have forgiven him, but I can not trust him yet. Thank you for allowing me to vent a bit and at least get out what is on my mind.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Apr. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Whats the big deal... its porn, almost every male and a lot of females do it.
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 1:52 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • For a lot of men, porn means nothing more than blowing his nose on a tissue. It's nothing from their point of view and has absolutely nothing to do with YOU.

    At the moment I bet he's embarrassed as all get out. Let him get over that, and talk about it in the morning. But don't make a huge deal out of it, because it's really not.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:56 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • You forgave him?? And you don't think you can trust him?? I really don't understand why so many women make such a big deal when their man looks at porn. You need to relax a little. Have you ever looked at pron? I'm guessing NO! Why don't you give it a try, how do you know you won't like it also and then instead of it being a problem it could be something you do together...
    momluvsmiles

    Answer by momluvsmiles at 1:58 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I've noticed a lot of men have this issue. It's pretty normal, but it could turn into a real big problem. If it hasn't caused any problems in the past between you two, and he admits to having looked at it before, then I don't see that it should be TOO big of a deal. However, since you now know, and you DO have an issue with it, I suggest calmly discussing it with him about how it makes you feel and how damaging it could be to a relationship...
    MillieJ

    Answer by MillieJ at 1:58 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I don't see why all these women think it's not such a big deal when there husbands look at porn, I'm guessing cuz they can't control what they do so they just settle for it being ok, I know a lot of women do it too, one thing I know is it's NOT ok, it's rude and incondiderate for a spouse to look at porn. I would just talk to your man about it and explaine to him how it makes you feel, since he said he has been struggling with this for years then he will most likely do it again, you just need to keep telling him how you feel about it and hopefull he will understand and stop, good luck momma.

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:11 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • hun its just porn guys like watching and its really normal most of the moves my Dh uses on me he gets from watching porn. so i wouldn't make it a really big deal and have him feeling like he cheated on you. he hasn't so you can forgive him and trust him. its better he is in the house watching instead out making porn with another women. but if it really upset you ask whats in the movie that he likes and see if you can use in your sex life and tell him that you are all the porn he needs
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 2:18 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • A lot of males go through this through a pregnacy. He has needs and I don't know how you are pregnant I know I didn't want tomy husband to even touch me. But, men sometime feel uncomfortable with the whole situation. With being with you. You know I don't like my husband watching pron either. I think you should have a heart to heart talk with him. It's better to get things off your chest in a calm reasonable way to deal with the problem. But, Men are men they are pretty much the same. But, guys don't see it like us. We don't like them googling other women than your truely. It's ok. Congradulations by the way. Just remember he is home with you everynight. Sleep well.
    preciousjewel2

    Answer by preciousjewel2 at 2:27 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • He probably has not stoped looking at it. He probably will hide, looking at it better.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:06 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • yes he will hide it and erase the history. I know this too well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Ok- I sort of understand. I don't allow porn in my home. I just don't. I don't like it and I don't understand why anyone would want to watch other folks have sex. My husband used to watch it before we got together. He was open n honest about it , No big deal. After a few months we talked about it & I told him that I do not like it and it would be a deal breaker for the realtionship. He said he'd much rather have me than look at it. so 3 years later & the only porn we've seen is what we just can't skip on tv because its so werid LOL and what has been playing when we go into some sex stores together. For some men its no big deal for others its an addiction. I don't know what to tell you but it probably has nothing to do with you doll, the way you look or the way you treat him..... thats just men. GL
    rebel07

    Answer by rebel07 at 8:11 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

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