Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

would you turn you child in?

If you found out that your oldest child (only 13) was molesting or forcing sex on one of your younger children (10 yrs old).. what would you do?
If DCFS is involved.. will they charge the parent with neglect?
Can he go to jail for this ?
Where would you turn?
Friend in need of answers.. QUICK.. FAST and in a HURRY.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 AM on Apr. 28, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (41)
  • I was a therapist for juvenile sex offenders for 8 years and here's what might happen (it could vary state-by-state): If you go to a counselor, they will have to call CPS by law. CPS will investigate it and determine if it's "substantiated' which means, probably true. They'll contact the police who will then start the legal proceedings, including bringing in the alleged perpetrator and interviewing. The perp may be arrested, but if the victim isn't in the home, he may be released back to the home. Most perpetrators who are first-time juvenile offenders do not do much time, in fact, most will go back in the home with outpatient counseling, but an evalaution will be done to determine what is the appropriate setting. Legal proceedings will take place. If the adult knows about it, but does nothing, they could face neglect, but not if they were unaware. Perp will probably go on probation. PM if you want more info.

    Answer by SherriPie at 8:44 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Definitely! This actually happened to a friend of mine. She was 5 and her brother was 13. The mother walked in on this and proceeded to blame the little girl. Can you imagine? She is an adult now and for the life of her can't understand why her mother never did anything to stop it. My friend's life is a mess. Please do something about it. I think I would definitely call them anonymously and ask what you need to do about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Please call. Only good can come from calling them, it may not seem like it in the begining but I promise it will be for the better. Not calling would be the worst thing to do.

    Answer by momluvsmiles at 2:28 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Not calling like anon 28 said could be the worst thing to do,,b/c it will happen again. He needs help, more than you can provide right now,,he needs professional help and counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • OP HERE. WHO DO I CALL ? The police? or DCFS? both ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I would call the police - at the non-emergency line, and ask to speak to someone either in the juvenile crimes or, if they don't have that, then someone in sex crimes. Then explain what's going on to them.

    Because BOTH children need help, and one certainly needs protection.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:48 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • idk who you'd call, but i just wanted to throw my vote in & say to definitely call someone. everyone in that shitty situation needs some form of counseling. the boy, the sibling, the mom.. i don't think mom is equippe with the proper tools needed to handle that situation herself. idk if he'll go to jail, but at least the situation will be addressed & the younger sibling can get the justice s/he deserves. this can not be ignored or brushed under the rug, for the sake of the younger sibling. like the first poster said, how this is handled will have a tremendous impact on the victimize younger sibling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I should add though, that if it were my child that was doing this, I would tell them (after I called) that you did this, and I would explain that you still love them, but that they CANNOT do this sort of thing, and that for the sake of the other child, and for the sake of ___ (the child who was doing this), the situation needs to be taken care of and addressed.

    You can also try to call CPS. Either them or the police will be able to help you.

    Also, be prepared, there is a chance, with the offender being the age they are, that they, too, have been victimized by someone. That's often the case with kids who do this sort of thing to other kids, especially boys that were abused (and, for whatever reason, didn't get help afterward).

    good luck - this is a hard situation for you all!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:52 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • If it were my child, I'd probably call DCFS first and ask them for advice on best way to proceed. I'd also insure that both my children got counseling. As much as I have NO tolerance for sex offenders (especially pedophiles) , nor would  I EVER excuse my minor son for committing that crime, I don't think I'd rush to get the police involved in this instance. My concern would be more focused on nipping this behavior in the bud, rather than initiating a criminal record.


    Answer by Ewadun at 3:18 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • No offense OP but this is really a no brainer. Of course you turn them DFS, to the police, to whoever and do it ASAP. If you do not then you will be chargeed with neglect. Listen to you heart and instinct. The 13yo needs help and the 10yo needs counseling, help and love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 AM on Apr. 28, 2010