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What do you do about the grandmas on mother's day?

It''s my 2nd Mother's Day (my daughter is 15 months) and I'm 7 months pregnant. For the past two years we've taken the grandmas to brunch so that we could celebrate with them all at once since my mom lives an hour away and his mom lives 20 mins away. This year, I'm totally exhausted plus my daughter is in the can't sit still stage, so brunch isn't feasible. My fear though is that if we don't do brunch, I will have to drive out to each of their houses with my daughter to celebrate and quite frankly I'm just too exhausted. What do you do with your mom in MIL on mother's day. When does that day become YOUR Mother's Day. I don't really know the rules so I'm asking. Thanks!

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Asked by Jodeye at 9:45 AM on Apr. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Well in all honesty, I think it's a little selfish that you wouldn't drive to see them. Your mom gave you life and his mom gave him life which is why you have one child and are pregnant with another. I guess I'm just different but on mothers day, no matter what the circumstances, you get together with the mothers that you love and care about. Invite them to your house or have your husband watch the one child and you do something with your mom or MIL.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • This is my first mothers day and we are going to do what we always do which is go to brunch with my parents and my MIL. But is is much easier for me because we all live much closer together and I'm really looking forward to it. You have to do what works best for you. even if that is doing nothing.

    Answer by cherylw993 at 9:53 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I'm a little older than most of you here.You should see your mom and his.Maybe on Saturday and spend sunday they way you want.The day will come when your moms are gone.and then you would want to see them.Do it while you can and take lots of pictures of yyour kids with grandma.

    Answer by evelynwest at 10:09 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Can you host at your house?

    Answer by ceemuhreeashbee at 10:34 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • First of all, I asked an innocent question because I don't know the protocol so I don't think it's fair to insult me and call me selfish, especially when you don't know me. I am the youngest of 4 girls and have the 7th grandchild. My sisters all live out by my mom so to have her drive out here wouldn't be fair to her. (My sisters would never make the trip, they think any drive over 10 mins is like 5 hours). I really liked the previous brunch idea because it did provide for both my mom and my MIL, and they were both able to see my daughter. I just don't think anyone will be able to eat because my daughter wants to run, run run. It seems like that's the only option though. So the rule is to visit both on Mother's Day or the day before Mother's Day? That was the original question anyway.

    Answer by Jodeye at 11:04 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I don't' think there are hard and fast rules but I will say some of the responses were out of line. It's not selfish of you to be tired because you're in the third trimester and you already have a child to take care of. I think the grandmothers should understand, not to mention remember what this is like, and come to you. It's not too much to ask no matter what someone who is being selfish would say.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:57 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • And to answer the original question, you should visit however it would work. If you want to just do it all in one day, tiring though it will be, you could see your mom and sisters first and then go to your MIL's house. It will be closer to your home at just 20 minutes that way you could have a short drive when you're so tired from the day. Or maybe she could come see you all at your house? I don't know how many people are involved at your MIL's house so that might not work.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:02 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Thank you wildflowers25. It's people like you that keep my faith in the integrity of this website. Good advice. :-)

    Answer by Jodeye at 12:14 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • What about doing a picnic at a park?? Then everyone can bring their kids and the entire family can have fun without worrying about the small children not wanting to sit still in a restaurant...

    Answer by cfdm3s_mommy at 1:02 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • There is no defined rule for this. You have to go with what works for you. I however will be taking my stepkids to my mom's house since she lives 21/2 hours away. This is my first mothers day with my step kids and I refuse to let my inlaws ruin it for me. They ruined my, thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Now you sound like you have a great realtionship with your mil. See if you can go do something with her on sat and go sunday to your mom's and see her and your sisters. And as far as when it becomes your day... It is your day once you have a child. get hubby to serve you breakfast in bed or something special for you before you honor others. I will not get my something special until my hubby gets home from his at the following weekend... if he even remembers.

    Answer by SuzanneL09 at 1:07 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

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