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Spoiled brat Vs the couple that wants to go out.. what to do?

My boyfriend's 14 year old sister moved in with him last month, and I thought it was a sweet thing for him to take her in. Him and I also have a 4 year old together.
I guess it's annoying me now though. Him and I are 28 and 29 and still like to go out and party on weekends. Seems now we don't get away or get out at all because his sister is a brat who can't be trusted alone for 5 minutes without getting into some kind of trouble, so we are home all the time. It's okay here and there, but this girl has no discipline and acts like a snot and after awhile I tire of being around her. So I made reservations for him and I to go to a hotel this weekend and planned on taking our son to my sisters house. Now he told me we can't be gone that long because his sister may do god knows what while he's gone .
I say let her do whatever it is shes going to do and deal with it later. Am I wrong? Selfish? what would you do in my situation

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Apr. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (28)
  • Parents have the right to go out sometimes too. Granted that going out is drastically limited when you have children, but nonetheless, wanting to go out ever now and then isn't a crime. I don't think she's immature at all! As a matter of fact, some control needs to be established over the little sister. Your boyfriend did assume responsibility for her and he needs to make sure she grows up knowing there are consequences. Not avoiding them. PERIOD.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 4:20 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I don't think you're wrong, but I bet you'll get a bunch of answers saying that you are!! In that case, why doesn't your bf step up the discipline and all.. I realize that she's probably living with you out of bad circumstances instead of good, but she needs to learn that you can't act any way that you want to and it's okay. Sorry you're going through this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • You nailed it with wrong and selfish. He took her in and I'm assuming is responsible for her just like a parent. If sending her back to the parents isn't an option then he's responsible for her, regardless of your need to "party".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Nope not selfish,, but did she move in with him because she thought it was going to be easier? I would get the kid in some counseling ASAP!!!! I would have her volunteer or something to open her eyes,, but for the record I would NEVER leave a 14 year old at home alone for the weekend,, even if she is a brat,, you never know what friends etc,, will catch wind of you being gone,, Where are her Mom and Dad?
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:10 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • You are wrong. If he (the boyfriend), has taken up the parenting of his sister he need to do what he needs to do to raise his sister right. If that means not parting with his girlfriend and staying home. That is what he needs to do. You have a 4 year old. Maybe you need to grow up a little and raise your child too.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:11 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • What kind of trouble is he trying to keep her out of? Would you say hurting herself? hurting others? or hurting your property? Or some combination?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • You are parents now. Seriously you go party on the weekends? Its not like youre in your early 20s. Find stuff to do as a family. I think he sounds like a responsible guy putting the kids first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Well leaving a 14 yrs to do whatever for a whole weekend is not right but hey you have a point she needs to chill and put her nose back down to the ground so to speak. Is there someone your BF can find to keep an eye on her for the weekend? Sad a 14 yrs old can't be trusted for 5 minutes but honestly I would go and deal with whatever when you get home. She is not your problem she is your BF's.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • "but for the record I would NEVER leave a 14 year old at home alone for the weekend"

    I rather agree with this, even a nice 14-year-old could get into so much trouble left alone for a weekend. Does she have any good friends she could spend a weekend with?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • OP- here

    She moved in because her mom worked long hours and felt she couldn't control her behavior anymore and basically kicked her out. She was never much of a mom to her anyway. Her dad has never been in the picture as far as I know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Apr. 28, 2010