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What should i do?

Hello,
I just got out a 5 yr relationship and i moved to another state about a month ago with my son. Me and my sons father stay in contact and lately i have been missing him. When i was with him i was not happy for many years and he was so controling and jealous and we broke up many times but this is the longest but now that i have time away from him i kinda miss him. I talked to him a few days ago and i got the feeling he stil wanted to be together. We have been talking about setting up a time for me and his son to come down so he could see his son. What should I do? This is a really hard situation i am 22yrs old and this is the first person i have every been with. Iwould love to hear from people that have went threw the same thing or similar! Thank you

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Apr. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Let him see his son...but DO NOT get back together with him. Not ONE BIT. Because these guys don't change.

    Set yourself a goal. Six months of working on YOU without a man. Find out who YOU are. And by the end of it, you'll know the answers to this sort of question on your own.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:53 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • You said you kinda miss him?? What do you miss about him?? Think about it long and hard if you just miss being with someone than you wouldnt be getting back together with him for the right reasons, but if you miss him and how he truly is, how he treats you, how he treats the son, who he is as a person in general then give him another shot. Also is getting back together with him in the childs best interest also??
    newmama008

    Answer by newmama008 at 4:53 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I know this sounds silly, but make a pro and con list about this guy. Distance does make the heart grow fonder,,but there are real issues here that need to be addressed as to why you have been miserable with him for the past 5 yrs. If you put it down on paper, and be honest here! You will be able to see the good and the bad, you dont want to go back into the same situation, if things arent going to change and he doesnt see the problems that broke you guys up in the first place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • "When i was with him i was not happy for many years and he was so controling and jealous and we broke up many times but this is the longest but now that i have time away from him i kinda miss him."

    What is there to miss here? BE HONEST. What do you MISS about him, precisely?
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:56 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • You miss being with someone. I say let it go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • HELLO IM THE ONE WHO ASK THIS QUESTION!! But I miss how he use to take care of his son and how he always tryed to make me happy and how he was always around..but the only reason he always tryed to make me happy was because he was always doing something to make me mad...but mainly that he was always there for his son and how much he loved him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • You already know that he is controling and that when you were together you weren't happy so why are you gonna go back to that kind of life?! Have a good open FRIENDSHIP with him and you will find someone that will make you happy. Your child (son) is the only reason that you need to deal with him so keep the peace and if he is what you really want then go back but just remember that you weren't happy when you were there so ask yourself before you go back to living your life unhappy again. Momma your 22 you will find happiness right now you sound like your going thur the grieveing process it will past. You will alway have love in your heart for this man he is the father of your child don't confuse yourself. First love is the hardest one to get over.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • The only reason why you are so caught up on this guy is because he is the first person you have ever been with. Your young. dont waste your time on some controlling guy. They never change and if they do its temporary but it is ok to let him be a father. Avoid hooking up with him too because that will just make it worse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Thanks for answering

    "But I miss how he use to take care of his son"

    He can still do that...just not with you.

    "and how he always tryed to make me happy and how he was always around..but the only reason he always tryed to make me happy was because he was always doing something to make me mad..."

    Yep. And that's a pattern that won't change. Are you willing to accept him making you mad all the time?

    "but mainly that he was always there for his son and how much he loved him! "

    He can still be there for his son but NOT be with you. And I think you'd be better off NOT being with him. His behavior is sort of like the small child who sets a fire and then is oh-so-apologetic over it....you forgive him and he goes and sets yet another fire. Soon enough he's burning down the house.

    Till Dad grows up some (which means dumping the jealousy and controlling personality)...you can do better.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:34 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • give yourself time, of course you miss having some one there to help you with your son and spend time with you, it seems no matter how bad a relationship is we still miss it when its gone, even more so when it was a long relationship i say move on
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 1:11 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

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