Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does it help you when people say "I'm sorry"?

Not as in a apology but when something bad happens to you and people say "I'm sorry" - does it make you feel better? It pisses me off to no end, I can't stand pity, even if it's sincere. Why can't they say something like "what can i do to help you"? Then I would feel better, cause I have lots of ideas they could help me with.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Apr. 28, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • I know what you mean. I hate it when people say sorry for something they had nothing to do with! That's what really pisses me off.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 6:20 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • i love it because it lets me know how much i mean or matter to them. i know that it is out of kindness and that they are not being insensitive

    eva123

    Answer by eva123 at 6:22 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I think most of them are fakes. They say it because that is what society teaches them it is appropriate. After you part ways, they already forgot all about your problems.
    cristinaberger

    Answer by cristinaberger at 6:25 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I'm dealing with the loss of my sister in law now, and naturally everyone I meet that knows about her passing tells me "I'm sorry". I'm not really sure if it helps me or not. It's nice to have someone at least say "I"m sorry" wether they are sincere or not. I understand that people don't always know what to say, and when this happens it's best to just take their hand or touch them on the shoulder.
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 6:32 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • No, it just makes me more sad! I was just diagnosed with kidney failure a month ago. On dialysis three times a week. when the find out how old I am the look of pity in their eyes.... Just makes me sad. Now the acting like I already dead crap pisses me off to no end and people telling me what can and can't do makes me wanna bitch slap em.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:33 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • what really pisses me off, and Im not certain why, is when people said to me after both of my miscarriages "It just wasnt meant to be."
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 6:44 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • "It just wasnt meant to be."

    that's just plain mean.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • THANK YOU anon 6:47!!
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 6:57 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Absolutely. There is nothing more touching than someone caring enough about you as to apologize for something no matter how small or big. I try to remember that in my day. I know how much it touches me, so I try to do likewise.

    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 7:32 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I read in an etiquette book that one should only reply with "I'm sorry" and that saying "What can I do to help?" puts the burden on the person grieving to come up with a task (way to help) for the one offering. The person grieving has enough to worry about, rather than finding tasks for well meaning friends.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 9:25 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Just for Fun
Facebook

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN