Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

at what age do you expect your kids to be sexually active?

i started in 7th grade with oral and had sex when i was 15. I think i'm going to talk to my kids around age 10 or 11 and even more after. Is that too soon or late or should i start sooner?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Apr. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • i lost my virginity at 13. i would talk to them at 10 or 11 too.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:02 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • i was 13 when i started to have sex.. i do regret it!!!! my kids are 1 n 2 right now so i havent thought about when i should talk to them. I dont know what age would be good.. I EXPECT them to start at 16 like most kids do.. i hope they dont though...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I expect my children to wait until they are married, and they will be taught that it is a sin to have pre-marital sex. I plan to teach them the benefits to waiting until you're married, but ultimately it's their decision. My mom had 6 kids who she taught to wait until they were married and we all did, so I know it's possible for kids to wait.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • my kids are 3, 5, and 9... they 9 year old and i have already had many, many, many talks. She's well aware of the workings of our bodies, how sex works etc. If she has a question, she just asks, she's not embarrassed because we have a fairly open dialogue... I have had to correct a lot of things she has heard from her friends, even at this young age.
    my 5 year old also has had a lot of questions, especially after some of the things he was exposed to while his father had him (he kidnapped him when we separated), so we've had some good talks... and will continue to. It's just a normal course of events for them to ask questions about the body, and sex.

    I don't think that it is EVER too early to start talking- if you do then it's just normal interaction, if you don't it's taboo. I would like to see sex communicated about openly, and not be seen as a taboo, when people hide it, and ignore it is when it becomes a problem.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:06 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • If I've taught them right they won't until they are in a serious relationship. And no, high school relationships aren't serious.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:06 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • We started taking advantage of teachable moments when our kids were babies & kept the communication going as they grew up. Our expectation for them was to get married before having sex & we taught them to expect that for themselves. My daughter is getting married in 3 weeks. She is 25 & a virgin. Our son is 19 & he too is remaining a virgin until he's married. Children need to be taught that abstinence is not abnormal & it is possible to have self-control.

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 8:09 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I lost my virginity and got pregnant (all at the same time) at 13. I had the talk with my mom, but it was only one and she wasn't very open about it. I plan on sharing with my daughter how special it is to just wait. I wish I could get married and share the special moment with him, not that I regret my baby at all. I'm working on that now. That was the only time I ever did it, so if I begin to date again, I plan on waiting. I learned my lesson the first time.

    Answer by iluvmm09 at 8:21 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • hopefully later than i did. i think 9 or 10 is a good age to have a serious discussion about it. unless they come to you with questions sooner.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:22 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • What blessedmommy64 said. I like the idea of starting when their babies with appropriate age-level education (which I will figure out as I go! LOL!). I think it would be nice to wait until 10 or 11, but in this day and age, I would be surprised if any child makes it to that age without "learning" about it from their friends, and I don't want them building their ideas on that kind of misinformation.

    Answer by Adelicious at 8:29 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • i will be talking to my daughter around 10 unless she has questions before then, and my son, i think i will do the same i hope that they dont catch any sex buzz in elementary school lol. i hope they wait until they are 17/18, i think a senior in high school may be smart enough to use condoms if they are well informed. i had sex at 17 and i had actually waited longer than MOST my friends (non-friends too for that matter!) i only had 2 attactive friends that lasted until we graduated. needless to say the other virgins were virgins for a reason, but now anyone can get some it seems lol. so yes i plan on introducing birth control her senior year!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 8:50 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.