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I don't know what to believe anymore.

My SO has cheated on me emotionally and I'm pretty sure physically with one girl. I forbid him to talk to her, and told him I could forgive him. Well, last night I found out he's been talking to her, at least I think he has. His call records say he's called her house and talked for 10 minutes, and a few more times for just 1 to 5 minutes but thats it. he says it's our daughter calling on accident when she grabs his phone, and that he definitely hasn't called her, but it's not when our daughter is even at his house. Do you think that it could all be an accident or is he straight up lying?

we've been doing so good since she's been out of the picture but i can't take it anymore if he's talking to her again.

I told him this was the last straw and it was over. Do you think I was right to do this or should I believe him?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Apr. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Maybe that "forbid" him thing is why he cheated. I'd work on that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • i dont know why you would even forgive him in the first place. if my SO ever stuck his penis in another women, i would be so disgusted, i would never want to lay in bed or have sex with him again.
    once a cheater always a cheater. get out & find someone who has respect for you before he brings you home herpes.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:00 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • For your daughter to accidenlty call they girl by grabbing his phone, he would have to have the girl's number on his contact list still. Why does he still have her on there? And the part when it showed that one of the convo's lasted 10 minutes, you're daughter accidently call her and she just stayed on the phone for 10 minutes for no reason? strange if you ask me
    funmommy123

    Answer by funmommy123 at 9:00 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • ok so you two dont live in the same house??? but are a couple?.....if he aint talking to her and shouldnt be then why is her number still on his phone???....girl he is lying.....my man of almost 10years has cheated on me more then once.....i had to too the point i didnt care and i started cheating on him well i couldnt like and i told him......he got scared i know have full access to his phone and internet.......he said he dont want to loose me....the reason i stayed and i believe him is because all the other times he always said it was my fault and that i dont need to look through his things...he was still lying then....he know realized he dont want to loose me or the kids......if your man dont let u look at his phone or through his wallet or car anytime u want to then he is lying or hideing something and its time to bounce...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • If you don't feel like you can trust him and you are forever going to be suspicious, then yes, breaking up is the right thing to do. There is no happiness in a relationship where there is no trust.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Listen, I have been in your situation. Exact same thing happened. RUN. RUN and never look back. He will never be faithful and you deserve better.
    hornz102485

    Answer by hornz102485 at 9:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Come on, yes he is cheating on you. Let me tell you about "MOST" of these men out here. They will swear in your face that they're not cheating, but know good well they are. He is still seeing that ex, and it is sad that he is pulling his daughter into this all because he is too much of a coward to admit it. You are right to question him and lay down the rules, don't ever feel like you ruined things or pushing him all because you want a good decent relationship, it is not your fault. I'm not going to tell you to lose the loser because it is your call, you're in this relationship, not me, "BUT" any blind person can see that his ex is still in his life. Me? I would have kicked him to the street a long time ago. Infidelity is a big No No to me, and if you continue on down this path with this man, you will continue being miserable. He is truly playing you for a fool.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:08 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I don't know if he's lying or not but I ask you as kindly intended, what sort of life is this that you always have to worry? It just isn't worth it. If you can move on, do it for yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but I don't think he's being honest with you. Even if your child is accidentally calling her, then that brings up the issue of why her number is still in his phone...

    I don't think it's good to give an ultimatum in a relationship, unless you truly are willing to follow through with it, and sometimes, they are better than just trying to lay down the law. You said you forbid him to talk to her, and I can see your point - I wouldn't want my dh talking to her, either, if I was in your shoes. But, maybe a better way to have said that would be, you're a grown man, and you can do what you want, BUT - if you talk to her, then I will know that you don't care about saving this relationship, and I'll be out of here. That way, he knows this is unacceptable to you, but on the other hand, he doesn't feel like you're bossing him around, or challenging him to try to "get away with something".

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:24 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • cont

    Which is what sounds like is going on - he's either trying to prove to you or her or himself that "you're not the boss of him and he can talk to whoever he wants to", or, while he probably cares about you (you said things were better), he doesn't care ENOUGH to be faithful. You deserve to be cared about "ENOUGH", kwim?

    IF - and this is a HUGE "If" you think that it could have been an accident, then ask (don't tell) him to delete her number from his phone, and ask him to prove it by showing you his phone bills. BUT - keep in mind, if he is a cheater, as opposed to someone who made a mistake and wants to fix things, then all that means is he will get better at hiding it.

    But, and I know this is going to hurt, and I'm sorry, but you need to ask yourself why you want to be with someone that cheated on you, and that you don't think you can trust to not do it again? You deserve to be with someone you can trust!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:28 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

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