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I have a few Questions about my daughter and her new BF..they both go to a private faith based college and well

She leaves her BF behind to wait up for her while she goes to night clubs with other guys....Her and her BF pray together each night when she gets back in but I can't but help to wonder if she is trying to live in 2 worlds at the same time.
She has an amazing BF!! and they respect and adore eachother but she feels this need to go out..without him...should I talk to her about her behavior and how it could end up hurting her BF and her spirit/Faith...and BTW they are almost 19 and while they may be adults in the eyes of the state they still need guidance

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Apr. 28, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I believe at her age it's time to let her find her own way. She's searching for something. Let her find it with your support,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • I would just talk to her and ask her what's going on...and yes give her some motherly guidence.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • it never hurts to give your daughter advice, that's what you're there for even when she gets married and have her own kids. but you can't make decisions for her. it's cool to tell her about it because you're concerned, but at the same time don't bring it up again and again and again. that just makes you obnoxious. but if time passes and she keeps on doing it and you see that her BF is starting to feel uneasy and neglected you can just nudge her and remind her again. no biggie.
    khmymommi

    Answer by khmymommi at 11:06 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • It sounds like he's a saint, but how can she respect him or her faith if she's going to nightclubs without him? I would ask her what's going on and see if she'll open up, but I think if her faith is real, she probably already knows what she's doing is wrong.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:07 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • no, i mean, you can always converse with your daughter of course. but shes only 19, i dont blame her for wanting to be free and go out and not be tied down at such a young age. maybe she will end up marrying this guy, but she probably wont. let her have fun & see what else is out there while she still can.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:38 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Let me get this straight, they are both in faith based colleges, but he waits up for her while she goes out with other guys. Sounds like they are adults, he is enabliing her behavior, and you are upset. I would butt out and let nature take its course.Sounds like she is searching for something, he will get tired of it eventually and it will be over. Better it takes place now then when they are married.
    SEEKEROFSHELLS

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 11:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • He may not have a problem with it? I dont go out with other guys, but my husband and I have no problems taking our turns to sit at home while the other goes out. It is usually me going out because he simply doesnt like to. Perhaps her BF just isnt that social and she needs a place to socialize?
    Maybe you are looking too much into it. You said yourself that they respect eachother. If what she was doing was truly wrong in either of their eyes, the respect wouldn't be there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • 19 and while they may be adults in the eyes of the state they still need guidance

    I'm confused by this. 18 is adult and does not need supervision in any state. As for the rest my honest opinion you don't know what they talk about, agree to, or do when you are not around. You may not have all the info or details. Maybe you need to step back and let the birdie fly on her own. You have given her all the guidance and if she needs help or more believe me she'll come back to you. If my mom did talk to me about things like that now or at 19 there would be a serious strain on our relationship, oh wait she does and there is. Some times we want to fly solo and make you proud that we can do it on our own. We want you to know you did do good for us. My mom wasn't a great mom but she did teach me some things. Give her a chance to show you she can do it. Keep your relationship strong
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 4:20 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • How is a 19 year old getting into clubs?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:24 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • She needs to walk her own spiritual path.
    sahmamax2

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 6:57 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

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