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Confused

My husband and I have not been getting along for a while now, like 2 years. We are always fighting and it has gotten to where I really don't want to be around him anymore. I don't want to take my kids away from him, but he doesn't even spend much time with them. His computer and phone is more important. For some reason he has never excepted our son, he will pick up our daughter and talk with her for a few minutes but when our son wants attention he just passed him up. This is the main reason we fight, my husband likes to leave his things down and of course my son being almost 2 years old want to mess with it. My husband gets so mad at him because he seems to think our son should know better to touch his things. I am at the point that I am just not happy at all. I just don't know if I should stay, anyone have any ideas on what we can try to save our marriage or is it even worth it because my husband refuses to change.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:48 AM on Apr. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Marriage counselling. Sometimes they can't hear or make a change if it is "just" the spouse telling them what is wrong. A thid-party may get through to him. Try and both read "his needs her needs" (google it) and see if you can get him to approach it like "what do we both need to change to make sure each other's needs are fulfilled in the marriage."
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 6:33 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Marriage counseling? Heck no, what he needs is a parenting class!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I agree with you that he should treat both kids the same.I'm in a blended family and he used to treat his daughter(from first marriage) way better than our son.And we had problems then.It got to the point that I told him they would both be brats or they would both be yelled at by him.When his daughter started to embarrass him, that's when he decided to treat them the same.
    The only advice I can give is to stand your ground about treating them both the same.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 10:03 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I'd get while the getting is good. I would not want to even try to work thigs out with someone who is intentionally cruel to my child. He's a jerk. That will never change, even with all the counselling in the world. I intensely dislike grown men who treat little children that way. It shows a really ugly side of their personalities.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:19 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • men who can be mean to children are evil. leave.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:18 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Try going to your local Christian book store and renting the movie "Fireproof". It's a really good movie. Also, ask him to make a list of all the things he would like you to STOP doing, and a list of things he wants you to START doing. Then you make one for him. Tell him every time you do, or don't do, something on his list, he has to do, or not do, something from your list. Does that make sense? I know what I'm trying to say, but I'm not sure if I explained it so you know what I'm trying to say. lol.
    Anyway, one big thing to address is find out why he has problems with your son, and address those issues.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 11:46 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • If someone refuses to change, you can't make them. You can only control your actions in response to theirs. I wanted to rent Fireproof and my STBX husband wanted no part of seeing it or anything else I suggested. After 2 years of this I had to move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

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