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Is sil being a b*ch? Yes or no, no bashing please.

My sil is wealthy moved out of state. When her granchild had her christening I attended with my son at a cost of over 500 dollars with air fare.In the meantime my sil has attended a bar mitzvah for a work associate who attended her daughter's wedding.Now my son is having his confirmation and she tells me that she was trying to work something out with her work from home job but she can not afford it becuse the trip is expensive. Wht a crock she is so rich she lives in a million and 1/2 dollar home. She atends events for her side of the family but of course I get the shaft. She is really at odds with the god parent that my son chose for the confirmation. SO that is thr real reason but to tell me that I can't afford escuse is so lame and so fake, I can not believe it. What should I say to her , because I want to put her in her place. Mind you I know for over 30 years. I am speechless.....


Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Apr. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Forget the nastiest answer. That was so far over the line it's not even funny.

    As for your SIL, forget about her. She either does have the money to attend, and if she has a million dollar house crying poor is more ridiculous than I have time to comment on, or she is being the bitch by not putting aside petty dislike of your son's choice of a godparent. At this point, I'd let it go and not let it knot me up. Life is too short to put up with that kind of nonsense.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:52 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I think she doesn't want to come to avoid a scene with the god parent, life is too short to be hung up on people who won't support you, take a deep breath and let it go---you say this is your sister in law, is your brother attending? Don't have a big fight,, you have no idea if she is suffering from anxiety or whatever,, enjoy your sons special day and don't sweat the small stuff, Good luck momma--happy confirmation!

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:16 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • If you say something and she comes then you may feel worse. I know stuff like that hurts and she may be lying abou thte reason but the best thing you can do is just enjoy your day without her.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:24 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • wow...that's pretty bad...

    Answer by AirForceWife14 at 9:25 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • You want to put her in her place.... Do you really want her to come? There seems to be another agenda here. Let it go. Money isn't everything. Put your jealousy behind you. Life is way too short.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • First of all the more you have $$$$, The more debt you have. I think in this economy that the money crunch has hit even the wealthiest. Aside from that, she is probably upset that she was not chosen a the Godmother. But the choice has been made. You should say that you would be "very disappointed" if she does not attend. That's it. Any words you say in anger will just come back to you. She will be the one to carry that burden if she does not come for the rest of her life, everytime she sees your Son. Guilt is worse than anything you could say. AND she WILL feel GUILTY about it if she does not attend. Act disappointed but that you do not care either way. I was told once which is very true, "The One who has the most power cares the least." I am speaking from experience and I would be Pissed too but hold it together and focus on the Very Special Day. :)


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • She may look rich but maybe she really isn't.I bet she has alot of debt.But I wouldn't make any effort to travel to her occasions is she won't come to yours.She could ride the bus if she really wanted to be there.

    Answer by evelynwest at 9:45 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Anon, not all people with money have debt. Some people live within their means. I think it's so rude, when people visit my house, and they comment wow, you must have a lot of debt. I say, nope, and the house will be paid off in 7 years, we have no other debt. And my house isn't even that nice. I love it, but it's probably exactly middle of the road for our small town. Please don't assume everyone can't balance a check book.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 9:51 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • OP, yes, I think she is being extremely rude to go everywhere else and skip yours, but hey, I wouldn't want her at mine if she was going to be that way.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 9:52 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • If you have invested in a very expensive home with in the past few years and suddenly are not continually making the same salary as prior to the homes purchase. Than you are in debt. That is WHAT has happened to the economy. ****That is why we are in a recession. Obviously if you had 1.5 million cash to purchase a home then you may not have debt but honestly this rarely happens. Here in NY, a 1.5 million dollar home also has approx $20,000+ a year in property taxes. Try to crack that nut!


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Apr. 29, 2010