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If you don't give him what he wants

If your husband is always wanting sex or even oral sex and you turn him down, do you feel guilty? Like if you don't give him what he wants he might go get it else where? I don't ALWAYS turn him down, we have sex 2-3 times a week, but my husband would prefer 5-7 times a week and I just don't have the sex drive for that. And maybe I'm selfish, but if I'm not getting anything out of it, why should he be pleasured?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Apr. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • No, I feel guilty because its something he wants and I want him to be happy.
    You can still pleasure him without having sex. Like a hand job for example.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 11:52 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Nope, I never feel guilty for saying no. I usually don't though... If he puts a little effort forward, that usually does the trick ;) Likewise, if it has been a long day at the office, and he's not up to it, I wouldn't pressure him, but a little attention goes a long way, he may discover that he is in the mood after all.

    HE is being selfish if he is making you feel guilty.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:52 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Why wouldn't you get something out of it? I never feel guilty for turning him down because I usually have a reason if I do (which isn't often). We both have a high sex drive even after being married 6 years and having 2 kids. I have never worried about my husband "getting it somewhere else" Even if we weren't having sex as much as we do I wouldn't worry about that.

    Answer by laciD at 11:54 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I kinda know what you mean. My husband used to want me to give him oral EVERY time before we had sex. It got kinda old after a while. So I started reluctantly doing it, because he wanted me to. He got the hint that I didn't want to do that every time, so he doesn't ask that often anymore

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • My husband and I are like you and your husband. He would prefer it 5-7 times a week, but I don't have the sex drive to keep up with that. When he gets turned down he acts like a wounded puppy, but that doesn't lead me into feeling guilty. He knows just as well as I do that he'll get sex when I'm in the mood for it. He gets it 2-3 times a week and I think that's perfectly healthy. He's happy with that even though he'd prefer it more often.

    We've talked about what would happen if I said "No more sex ever". He would no doubt leave me. Now, that may sound a bit brash to some ladies, but sex is important to him. It's a stress reliever, it shows his affection towards me, and it's his way of bringing us closer. However, he knows very well that he doesn't get it unless I'm wanting it too. He's okay with that. Or so he says.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I don't think I would worry about my husband going elsewhere because he is so faithful to me even when we have had times of no sex he remains faithful. But I don't turn him down much because I love to please him. And I like sex in general anyway. The more you have it the more you want it. Even when I'm not in the mood he gets me in the mood and I enjoy it.

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:21 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • hell no i don't feel guilty. he tends to forget the (lesser) times he turns me down when he's tired or not feeling good. there's more to marriage than sex. anticipation sometimes makes things better. i don't worry about my husband cheating. if lack of a bj was gonna end our marriage, it's not much of a marriage in the first place. i just remind him how lucky he is any time he gets one lol.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:52 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

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