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What to do with grandparents favoring grandkids???

I just dont know what to do...how do you deal with grandparents favoring some grandkids over the others? Do you stay away,do you say something, what should I do? If you want to know how they favor them...well if one child has something and this particular grandson wants it, they will make my child give it to them. But not vise versa.....if it was my parents..this would be so easy for me...HELP!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • if my inlaws did that i would tell dh to talk to them - his parents. they know i can be very serious and dont make empty threats. i would make sure that he was clear about the fact that if i witnessed that happen one more time they would be lucky to see my child ever again. that is psychologically damaging and i wouldnt subject my child to it.... in reality i would cut them out for a year or two and let them grovel their ways back into my childs life... but they would be walking on eggshells. they prolly would hate me but in the end i wouldnt allow it to continue. i will be "the bitch" before i let my child get treated badly... not all people would do that. we are all different. jmo of course.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:45 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • my dh's parents favor his sister's kids over ours i guess it's because she keeps them (could've kept mine too if she wanted to) idk it pisses me off b/c my kids are so much better behaved i don't say anything to her but have said something to my dh
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I deal with this alot with my MIL. She totally favors my hubby's nephew over our own kids. At Christmas time my kids are given dollar store presents (literally with the dollar store stickers still on them), and her other grand son gets video games and nicer things. She also keeps him overnight on a weekly basis and has yet to do that with our kids at all. Something always "comes up". It bothered me at first but I honestly don't care anymore. Our kids get everything they want or need from us and we don't need anything from them.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 1:06 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Well yes they keep this child so the parents dont have to pay daycare. My husband and I always had to pay daycare.But thats ok b/c I know that I didnt throw my kids off on them,KWIM? It does piss me off and I have said something over and over to Dh and he just says let it go. Well Im sick of letting it go.Thanks for your response!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I went thru this with my MIL. She favors boys over girls, and favors my husbands kids from his first marriage over the ones we have together. All I can say is stop it before it gets out of hand. They may not like wat you have to say, but just tell them that they need to treat all equally. In example: (This happened to me) If they want to take one kid to get an ice cream, or buy them a toy tell them they need to take all of the kids or none of them will go. We had to do this and it took a while, but it did work. Now my MIL treats all the same and everyone is happy =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Thanks ladies for your input and advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • really, it should be dh that deals with his own parents. if you handle this it could create a rift b/t you and dh, you and mil, you and fil, sil, bil...it could get really ugly.
    i would just let it go. if your kids feel jipped by their grandparents, then they will not want to be around them in the future. honestly, we reap what we sow, and your in laws will realize this later.
    you trying to make them treat your children differently will allow them to focus on you instead of themselves.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 1:33 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I dont think my 3 year old realizes whata going on so yes I think as a mother I should shield my kids from harm...dont you? Im not trying to make them treat my kids "differently", I want them to be treated equally!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • The best way is always to be totally honest and forthcoming about the problem and the problems it is causing. Your other son, count's on you to protect him from those things. My mother used to play those games, along with having a really vulger mouth and using kitchen utensils to correct my kids. We walked and never looked back. She's passed now, but I would do the same again in the same situation.
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 1:45 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • AmaliaD- you took the words right outta my mouth!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

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