Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

love life!!!

i have been in a relationship for 6 1.2 years now, 2 kids, and my husband refuses to stop looking at porn weither on computer or buying a magazine and i've found dvd of porn that he has hidden as well as him hidding the magazines or pictures., i have repeatedly asked and begged him to stop he states he has them because i dont allow him to touch me anymore or us have sex., but i dont because of this matter has a sour note stuck in my head and it hurts, so the only way i know to get back is to refuse sex or touch...am i wrong., and what should i do. i do love him very much, but im not sure how much more i can take. this is hurting me badly and i dont know what actions to take because he just refuses all of these situations, stating it not his or he didnt do that, but deep down i know its him...help please.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Apr. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think cutting him off is rather vindictive.


    I think couples counseling would be a good idea.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • You can do one of two things. 1.) leave him and take the kids for looking at porn. 2.) stop trying to be so controlling, allow him to have as much sex as he wants, and tell him to tone it down on the porn and not keep stuff like that around your house!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I would seriously suggest talking to a therapist or a pastor with the two of you attending. I dont lame you for refusing intimacy. He is either addicted to porn and isusing your lack of intimacy as an excuse or he could stop if you were intimate with him but more than likley if he is buying dvds andmagazines he may be addicted. Maybemake a deal with him say get ridof the porn and we will rebuild our intimacy. If he is open you need to bebut if he is not and wont stop or attend therapy then you havve some decesionsto make.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 4:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I would suggest counseling. It sounds like an addiction. Refusing him is only making the matter worse. If he can't get any from you he's needing to take care of himself. Porn is a big slap in the face for most women. I know if I ever caught my DH looking at or watching porn I'd be devastated. I feel it's a form of cheating. He's obviously imagining himself with another woman. It sounds like you are too hurt by his actions to forgive him on the spot, and he's too wrapped up in his actions to just stop. I think you both need counseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • my husband is the same way he has his stash and i keep telling him that i dont like it and that it hurts be that he watches it and i even trashed it all so i am not sure y guys do this but he has kind of stopped but i know he still does it but i have learned that it is something that he does and as long as i cant find them or see him looking at it i am some what ok with it but i know how u feel and i am sorry
    shannonsmom555

    Answer by shannonsmom555 at 4:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • First of all you have to relax and really think about your situation. Obviously you don't like porn and feel hurt by his actions. But honestly I think you are making the situation worse by refusing sex. Guys dont feel the same way about sex that we do, and i seriously doubt he is imagining being with the woman in the porno. I suggest that you talk together about this situation , has he always looked at porn?Has your sex life dropped before you found the porn? I personally dont believe there is anything wrong with porn or masturbating as long as it doesnt interfere with your marriage. I would talk with him and try to spice up your sex life so he doesnt need it anymore. Even if he stops looking at porn he will still masturbate, it just what guys do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I think you not having sex is just perpetuating the cycle. You wont have sex because of the porn, he has porn because you wont give him sex, so he looks at porn so you refuse to give him sex, over and over and over. Either let him have some sex or leave him to his porn
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I think you witholding sex is not the answer!...Next thing he is going to find a woman who would do all the things that he wants done that you wont do!....That's why he is looking at porn!...This may sound bad too you, but I suggest that you start giving him sex and do it like a porn star, dont be boring! or else he will start looking at other women!
    apple31

    Answer by apple31 at 8:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN