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Do i end our friendship forever?

My oldest friend who has been married to a man for almost 2 years, her husband is deployed. and they have a 2 year old daughter.
she told me she is all of the sudden bi-sexual and inviting a women into her marriage to be her girlfriend or maybe just for sex.
and i told her i cant let that around my son.
its not the bi-sexuality its the adultery.
marriage is between two people. not three. so i ended our friendship.
now she wants to talk. like nothing happen. what do i do?

Answer Question

Asked by airmanswife08 at 5:22 PM on Apr. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Well, you're going to get bashed for being against this in an "anything goes" society.... having said that, i agree with you that it's wrong. However, I'm not sure that I would cut off my friendship with her. If you don't want your son around it, than don't hang out with her when she's with her "girlfriend". Otherwise, be there for her, show her your loyalty and acceptance (isn't that what Jesus would do?). I bet she's really lonely right now.

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • I dont know, awkward situation though. I would just tell her the straight and honest truth, that you dont agree with adultury, and if she is that kind of person that thinks its ok, then maybe you two have different morals, and you dont think that its a great fit for friendship. Personally I couldnt be friends with someone who took their marriage so lightly that they felt it ok to thoughtfully have an affair.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • Give her a chance to talk it out. But, tell her you are not sweeping your feelings under the rug about how sacred marriage is to you.

    If she divorced, would that be a positive or negative to you?

    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 5:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • It depends on how good of a friend she is. You dont have to agree with everything your friends do but you can request that it not be done around your child. Maybe you just redefine your friendship and spend less time together. On the other hand there is nothing wrong with standing up for what you believe in and choosing to be around people with your beliefs.

    Answer by ria7 at 5:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • its not like your son is involved in her sexual life. Neither are you. If you are a true friend then i don't think you should judge her for this. You may be against it but thats for your own personal life. It doesnt mean you shouldnt dislike anyone else for choosing to live a certain way.

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:33 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • * now if she was sticking her tounge down some chicks throat in front of my son...oh yeah, i would give her an earful and probably not allow my son around her ever again.

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:37 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • not sure what to say...i know that you dont approve of her choices and have made that clear to her, but as her friend you should be supportive of her. you dont have to agree with what she is doing but im guessing she might have alot of emotional stuff going on right now to and maybe she needs your support...

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • What she is doing is not just something different, it's clearly wrong. She can do whatever she wants but you have to stand up for what you believe in and your friend should know that when she does wrong, you will have to put some distance in the relationship until she can do right. You don't have to completely end the friendship. I just think some distance can give her more time to focus on her issues. I wouldn't even want to be friends with someone like her who lacks integrity. If she wants women then she should get out of her marriage first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

  • No, you don't have to support decisions that you feel are wrong, but you can still be friends. You can choose to keep the relationship adult only, and keep your son away. We have a gay family member, and I allow my children around him and his partners (he has one at a time, lol), but I don't agree with his lifestyle. It'll come up in converstaion with my kids eventually, and we'll talk about how HE isn't bad or wrong, but his choices aren't always good, just like OUR choices aren't always good. No one is perfect, and that's fine. However, a threeway marriage goes beyond what I will semi support. I'm supposed to be accepting and open to anything anyone else wants to do, and I think it gets silly after a while. People confuse accepting a friend with thinking all their choices are hunky dory. If we have drastically different values, we probably won't stay friends for long anyway. It's just a doomed friendship.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 9:34 PM on Apr. 29, 2010

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