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Do you return the ring?

A woman is being sued by ex fiancee after he called off the wedding....she wants to keep the engagement ring (because he owes her money) says ring is part of a agreement, would you keep the ring or have you from a former fiancee?


Asked by my2kids312 at 9:58 AM on Apr. 30, 2010 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • My fiance of 4 1/2 years recently called things off. Though etiquette maintains that if he calls it off she gets to keep the ring, as many above have mentioned, I offered back the 1 1/2 carat ring for the simple reason that it no longer held any sentimental value to me. It represented something that was no longer in existence. He didn't have any need for a diamond ring, either, so he let me keep it. After strolling around town for a few months with it bouncing around the bottom of my purse, I finally just gave it to my little brother to have reset for his girlfriend when he proposes (ensuring he checked with his lady that she was okay with it).

    Answer by BethLopez at 11:39 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • He calls off the wedding, she gets the ring. She calls it off, she gives it back.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:00 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • i think legally she has to return the ring, then sue him for the $ he owes her. crazy world we live in today! maybe i should have been a lawyer?

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:02 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • Actually, the laws on this differ state to state. But, general rule of thumb, etiquette wise, is that if she ends the engagement, he gets the ring back. If he ends it, then she can keep the ring if she wants. Because technically, while it's sort of a gift, it's not, really - it's a tangible sign of a verbal contract to get married. So, whichever of them breaks the "contract" is the one in breach, and they have to give up the ring...

    Not that this is how it always works out of course - sometimes the other person doesn't want it back, or want to keep it.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:12 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I know there is the whole thing of if she calls it off she gives it back and all that but why in the world she would want it is beyond me. Decency would say she should give it back. I guess she wants to sell it for the money she says he owes her. I can't believe people sometimes.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:20 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I would only give the ring because if i kept it,i would still feel like i'm connected with him and wouldn't want's something he gave you why would you want to keep unless your going to pawn it or something like that

    Answer by shanda0914 at 10:23 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I've always heard that if the guy calls off the engagement/wedding, the lady gets to keep the ring. If SHE calls it off, she should return the ring.

    Answer by yogapantz at 10:32 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • Before I met him, my dh was engaged to another woman. She ended it, and she kept the ring he had given her (it was a long distance engagement, and she made a point though of asking him for all her stuff back...) He sent it back, but didn't push the issue for getting the ring back.

    He had told me about it, and so had my mil (my dh gave her the wedding band that went with it to do whatever she wanted with - I can't remember if she sold it or gave it to my sil). She'd owed my mil some money, so it would have been nice if he had gotten it back/ sold it, but he was just glad to be done with it (she had cheated, gotten pg, and ended the engagement to marry the other guy. btw - they divorced a few yrs later - when she started stalking us - she was a TOTAL winner....)



    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:32 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • cont

    lol - though there have been many times over the yrs (my dh and I have been married almost 18 yrs), that he's 1/2 jokingly said things like "man, I wish I'd gotten that ring back after all - I could have used an extra couple of grand right now...) - usually when he's looking at a custom painted drum set or something else not in the budget ;-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:34 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • To me, if she ends it, she gives back the ring.
    If he ends it, she can do what she wants with the ring.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:37 AM on Apr. 30, 2010