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Am I over reacting?

We are on a tight budget since I was laid off. Hubby's work feeds him lunch daily - no need to buy. Hubby promised he wouldn't take cash from our bank account - as I said - budget. I look at the statement and Monday he pulled $40 out! At first he claimed he "didn't remember" why. Then he came clean and said a couple guys were leaving the company and they went drinking at lunch time! I am so angry. First he doesn't tell me that he even went drinking plus he takes out $40! I am really really angry and he sees nothing wrong.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Apr. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • $40 for drinks in the middle of the day? I'd be angry too. That's a lot of money. $40 makes or breaks us too some weeks.

    Answer by flitpixie at 11:52 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • No you are not, he lacks responsibility.

    Answer by older at 11:27 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • It's his money too. It is not reasonable to say he can't spend any money.

    Answer by mompam at 11:29 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • You're not overreacting. You're on a budget and $40 to go drinking is more than irresponsible.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:30 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • OP here. Well mompam he spends money all the time. Gas, snacks, etc. He specifically knows we are on a budget and promised to not pull out cash. $40 when on a budget can make or break the ability to care for our family some weeks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • You are and you're not. To a degree, he does need to be allowed to spend a little money. But $40 for drinking is over the top, and $40 in general without checking with you first and not being an emergency is too much. I totally understand your concerns, and I'm wondering if there's any way you can fit an "allowance" in your budget. Say, $10 a week (or whatever you can afford) that he can spend however he chooses, and once it's gone, that's it. That way, he has money to spend so he doesn't end up resenting the whole situation (which can happen), but you won't have to freak every time you check your account balance. Since he spends money all the time, as you say, this may be a solution to that. He can still spend, but he can't put you guys in a hole you can't get out of.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:47 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I think you have a right to be upset as he knows things are tight and you are on a budget, then he takes out money for 'fun' and does not tell you about it. Ideally he he should have talked to you about it beforehand and say "hey, a few of the guys and I are going out at lunchtime, and I am going to need some money from the account" If he could not call or discuss it with you ahead of time then he should have owned up to it when he got home and let you know, instead of letting you find out by accident some time later.
    since he does spend money all the time have you considered putting him on an allowance? Tell him that since times are tight everyone is now on a budget (or allowance) system- you get so much $ per payday for gas/misc. expenses and once it is gone, too bad. No more $ until next payday.
    Good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 11:47 AM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • Being on a really strict budget is hard! I'm sure he felt torn, it is alot of pressure when everyone at work is going out and you want to go. I think the $40 is alot of money and he could have had just 2 beers and spent $6 or something. It would be great if you could give him a cash allowance each week and when it is gone..its gone!

    Answer by ria7 at 11:52 AM on Apr. 30, 2010