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Marriage?

I am a mom and an unhappy wife. I have been with my husband for 6 years and we have a 2 yr old daughter. I have went part time and really dont make enough money to support myself or daughter at this point. We have not had sex in months. We dont talk cause we really have nothing in common anymore. I think he may have something going on with a lady from work but I am not really sure. I am not sure what steps to take to get housing for us, food etc. I am very scared that it has came to this. But it is really hard for me to live here and be this unhappy. I have ask him to go get help for our daughter cause I really dont want her to be from a broken home. But you can do anything way the marriage is only one sided.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Apr. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I am sorry I really dont have any advice for you. But I hope it works out for you.
    streetmama

    Answer by streetmama at 12:51 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • you guys could go out and try to reconnect. You need to spend time together to connect. You could try the love dare book and the 5 love languages is also good. I wouldnt give up on my marriage til i had tried everything to save it. Try to fall in love again..many marriages go thru a "dry" spell.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I think it depends on what's causing the wedge between you. If neither of you are talking, the breakdown is happening on both sides. I would say you all need to go to counseling to first be able to get some issues out in the open and also learn how to communicate and ultimately bond. So many couples don't have things in common but personal interests aren't what keep families together. Its values, the ability to interact positively and maturely and find a give and take so each partner has a maritial and personal happiness in their life. Sorry, this is all kinda vague but without knowing your situation, I think the best place to start is restore communication and the best place to do that is in counseling. There is a right and wrong way to talk and your relationship will improve overnight once you get the tools to do it right and start using them.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 12:54 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • This is a marriage and there is a child involved. You are giving up way too easy. The disconnect that you are describing happens in differing degree eventually in every marriage. It sounds to me like the disconnect in your marriage is stemming from your unhappiness. Leaving him and becoming a single mother is not going to magically make you happy. I think you need counseling. You need to find out why you aren't happy. You need healthy interests, hobbies, and married female friends.

    Before giving up, get these two books from Amazon.com: "How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It" AND "Secrets of Happily Married Women"
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 1:02 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I am sorry aboout your situation. you can get help from HUD they help with housing ( low income) for food you could get food stamps. As for your 2 year old I really dont know. I am going through something similar to your situation and i have a 2 year old and am pregnant so i have no clue i guess get her counsling or something to help her adapt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • ***UPDATE***
    I have done the love dare book 4 different times... I ask to go talk with someone & i am told we dont need it or he doesnt have time... I dont get kissed, touched, loved anything. I am sick of being told that I cant go buy food for our daughter because it costs to much... I use coupons for everything. I am I can but a months worth of food for less the $100. So I have done different things. I have at this point feel like I am done with everything
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I agree with above try HUD, food stamps to see how that works for you. GOOD LUCK!
    streetmama

    Answer by streetmama at 2:45 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • If you have tried everything then you may need to think of leaving. you may need to look at setting yourself up better financially before leaving if you are in a safe enviroment. Look fo r anew job, get your dd established in a daycare..things like that to make transition easier fo ryou and your dd. Sometimes a drastic change will be a wakeup call to your hubby but if he is truley done atleast you will be working towards independance.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • If you believe it's just a breakdown of connections between you two, try counciling for yourself to make sure you have a clear picture. He may just be another hard working guy oblivious to what others are feelings. Guys are focused and many times live in a world of surprises because they miss the details.
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 7:30 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • I FEEL THE SAME WAY JUST A LIL BIT DIFFERENT MAYBE YALL CAN WATCH THE MOVIE "fireproof" together with out your daughter and talk. it helped me. good luck i know its hard.
    beachbabewdj08

    Answer by beachbabewdj08 at 3:32 PM on May. 1, 2010

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