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How can I help her

My SIL just learned that she miscarried, and I'm just not sure how to help her. I know seeing me can't really help, I'm 7 months pregnant with my third. This was to be her second. Can any0ne give me some advice.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Apr. 30, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (4)
  • It is really hard to help someone when they miscarry. The best thing is to let them know you are there for them when ever they need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
    ldsdragonmom

    Answer by ldsdragonmom at 4:07 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I would think that mostly...putting on a "tough skin" would be the best thing you can do. Meaning, don't let any comments she might make or things she might do be taken personally. If she wants to hold the baby a TON, let her....if she doesnt want to see him/her at all, dont be offended.
    Everyone deals with loss differrently, and being that you are pregnant and highly emotional (I assume) there could be some catty sister-in-law issues that result from all the emotions, so be careful. Just love her and let her heal the best way that she can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I had a miscarriage in January and I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant with my second. We kept the miscarriage quiet for a while, but when we told people, I was very clear that I just preferred that people not talk with other people or with me about it. I would talk if I wanted. If I was your sister in law I would want you to ASK me how I wanted you to handle it. Basically "I love you very much and I'm so sad WITH you, how can I help you? Ask you how you're doing? Don't say anything? Just know that if I'm not saying something, It's not because I'm not thinking about it, it's because I don't want to bring up something sad if you're not thinking about it." (Or something like that). You being pregnant is totally separate from her loss. You can't feel guilty about it.
    Melissa823

    Answer by Melissa823 at 5:34 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • My sister miscarried a few years ago, and when she did I kept her busy we had a lot of girls nights. I also bought her a teddy bear and told her to hold it when she cried and she did. There really is no good way to help people when they grieve even more when it comes to losing a child. I'd call her up and ask her if she needs anything, a shoulder to cry on, food, drinks, or anything and then tell her that if she needs you to please let you know because you want to be there for her!
    skylarsmommy24

    Answer by skylarsmommy24 at 7:32 AM on May. 1, 2010

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