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How does one get started in the S&M lifestyle?

I'm interested in it, and I'm trying to get dh interested as well. What are your best hints, tricks, ideas ect.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Apr. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Start researching it, and communicating with your husband/SO.

    THAT'S how it starts - with open, honest communication.

    Answer by Redteux at 6:51 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • fetish clubs....

    Answer by mysilentmorning at 7:20 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I dated a guy who was into it and then met my husband who had been involved with it as well. There is some great S&M erotica out there. Also, ask your local sex store - some areas have "parties" where people explore the lifestyle. You don't have to participate if you go, you can just go and watch to get some ideas.

    Answer by missanc at 8:05 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • "Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns" by Philip Miller and Molly Devon is a good place to start, especially if your dh isn't comfy with the idea

    google "BDSM munches" for your area. These are meetings that are held in public places (restaurants, etc) that can give you more info about the lifestyle in a safe no pressure atmosphere. There is NO playing or scening at these meetings.

    Many fetish clubs are member only or invite only. If that's what you are interested in, a munch is the place to make connections.

    Also google "BDSM checklists".....will help you and hubby communicate about your likes/dislikes as well as things you might be interested in. Be forewarned tho, some of those lists are ALL inclusive, and some of the choices will make you think "what the hell??!!"


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

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