Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I leave him or give him another chance? NO BASHING PLEASE!

So about a week ago my husband was arrested for soliciting a prostitute. It was a sting operation so he didn't actually do anything. He intended to do something and actually made a propistition for oral sex. To me his intention is just as bad as had he actually done something. He has apoligized ,cried done the whole 9 yards trying to show me he is sorry and he so sorry about how bad he hurt me. He's sworn that he hasn't cheated on me and won't. Still though he was going to had he not got arrested. Obviously I am hurting really bad. Part of me thinks that I will never be able to forgive him and I should leave because he had every intention on cheating on me. The other part of me thinks that he has learned his lesson and I should work on forgiving him and give him another chance. I can't even think clearly because of how upset I am!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Apr. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • if this is part of his job then it will be hard to trust him from here on out but if this was something random and not his job then it sounds like you better have A LOT of trust put into him for a second chance. my question is...if he hadnt gotten caught, would of he followed through again and again after that?
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I very seriously doubt he got caught the FIRST time he was soliciting a prostitute - I'm thinking he has probably done it before and isn't sorry he did it, he's sorry he got caught. I would be very angry and probably would not be able to forgive him, for me the marriage would be over. I think resorting to a prostitute is even worse than having an affair with someone he knows - although I know some practice "safer sex" I still think it's more likely he would have picked up and brought some disease home to you, and he's wasting your family's money on sex!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • just take a break. your marriage can survive this if you want it to. but you have to take some time off to deal with your emotions. if it were me (and i've been in a similar situation. he would have done it if my bff didn't catch him in the act) i would ask him to stay elsewhere for a while. you don't need him breathing "i'm sorry" down your neck all day. leave him alone with his guilt. let him sit and wonder what you're going to do. meanwhile, go do some girly stuff. get pretty and hit the town with some friends. go feel beautiful, because you are! get some male attention (not action) and realize that you could do it without him if you had to. GL hon. (((hugs)))

    bestmommyeber

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 8:04 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • and i know how those sting opps work! it very well could have been the 1st time! they arrested my dad once. when he was propositioned, he said "lady, i got $2 in my pocket, and that's not even enough to feed my kids." they were able to charge him because he named a dollar amount.

    bestmommyeber

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 8:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • If it was me, I wouldn't give my husband a second chance. I already have a life threatening illness! I Don't need him to bring another on top of that to sign my death certificate!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:14 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • if you love him, i think you should forgive him and give him another chance, yes it will take a while before you get to complelty trust him again. give one mistakes mistakes, form big to small, i think give one needs a secound chance. If you havent felt him yet its because you love him, and you know his sorry. work on your marriage, and dont let no one tell you should leave him because of what he has done. forgive and try to forget, and work on it, i wish you both the best of luck!
    yamil519

    Answer by yamil519 at 8:14 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • Go to counseling and work on the relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • Many men think it's not cheating if they are with a prostitute. He may have a problem. I'd make him get counseling then make a decision. If the man is sick it wouldn't be good to leave him. I would make him get an HIV and other std tests done just to make me feel better.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:22 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I would recommend marriage counselling, insist that he take tests for HIV/ STDs and show you the results, and all I can say is good luck to you! My own marriage did not work out (not because of this issue), but I understand that many do!
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 8:46 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I'd never be able to trust him again, and I'd be worried about catching something. He'd be out the door if it were me.
    Koukla12905

    Answer by Koukla12905 at 9:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN