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Im just about done. I cant take anymore...I dont know what to do.......?

Im just going to be straight foward. I know there will be some rude replys, I dont even care......I dont care about anything really. My husband and I have gotten ourself in a HUGE financial mess. We are not in debt like some people 50k+ we owe on our car, (we HAVE to have) and a few loans. Our total debt is probably around 20k. Which to some people might be nothing, but to us....that is a little less than a years income. I babysit for income, to keep from paying 200 a week for my daughters daycare. Anyhow, we just....dont know how to get out of this mess! It is to the point we are so unhappy.....honestly im at the point if I dont wake up tomorrow its a relief. (NO im not going to harm myself) How do we get out of this? Dh is military and we are having immediate danger because we need to move (we found a place to save us 500 a mo rent) but dh is afraid if they see his finances they will punish him or worse. HA, did you know the

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Apr. 30, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (40)
  • OP. military is so f***ed up that they could demote him? so instead of helping it would hurt us.......bad. Alot of ppl say military gets paid okay what ever.....well, if your in the airforce, and have had 0 tdy's or deployments or anything like that..........its base pay and bah. Thats it!!!!!!! What do we do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • take it one day at a time. Cut back on everything. My husband and I enjoy ramen noodles a few nights a week to save money. Also, cloth napkins will save a TON of money.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • OP. We eat ramen noodles atleast 5 times a week. (not always dinner) We dont even have paper napkins lol. Its really not funny but sometimes I get delusional over it. Really, we dont have ANYTHING. We are lucky, LUCKY If we can pay our bills period......grocerys are a luxury. Seriously. Sometimes I ration.....and hide food for the kids just incase. I really dont know what to do. We were fine until we moved here. Price of living is THROUGH THE ROOF.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • Well we are also military, and as much as your DH doesn't want anyone to know about your situation, I think it's best that he lets someone know. That is what his first lines are there for, HELP. And if you don't want to get them involved, then you can take it upon yourselves to see a financial counselor on post who will go over all of your expenses and help you budget your money more wisely. I think that if moving is going to save you money in the long run, it's a GREAT idea! We had to break our lease off post to finally get moved on post but it was the best thing ever. We are savings quite a bit now that we no longer pay utilities on post. Just an idea. If I could offer any other advice, it would be to just pay what you absolutely NEED to pay and slowly work on the things that can wait.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 11:41 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • So sorry hon,,,,geez, I have been through chapter 7,,,lost a home when ex went to jail for dv. I know its not the military,,,but,,you will get through this,,one way or another,,you will get throught this. Im not military but I will bump this post on,,with my reply,,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • perhaps that's your answer can you move some place else...we move from the big city to a small almost rural town and the cost of living is very low.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 11:43 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • Just breath for now. It will be okay. You are doing a great job trying to hold your head above water, & it's okay to get tired of it sometimes. So some basic ideas. Pick the smallest debt & focus on clearing it. I know people say go after the biggest as it earns most interest but also means all the others stay ticking as well. Does your daughter have to go to daycare? This is gonna sound stupid, but pick one night a week where you eat toast or brown rice. It isn't fun, but it will save money. Make sure u put the extra into a debt payment. I know the debt is a whole years wage, but try to not think in those terms. Think of what you can manage this month. Also I think with the military u might find he is better off going to them & asking for financial advice rather than waiting to be found out. Any employer would rather honesty. Please try to hang in there, it will be okay- deep breath in, deep breath out Good Luck
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:45 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • OP the problem is.......we cant afford to move!!!!!!!! we will never ever have the money for the first months rent and deposit!!!!!!! I really......really dont know what to do. On top of it I need 500$ ASAP! Like emergency kind of thing. I need to have my wisdom teeth cut out, because they are ruining my other teeth and hurt like hell!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • I read Op comment after I answered, if you have the option to move you should grab it. He does need to be honest, if you find a free financial cousellor through your council or community it will look better for you guys as they will see you are trying to fix it. Do you have family you can lean on - have you got baby items you can sell on ebay. Can u babysit more kids? Are u crafty with lots of supplies going to waste? Set up a once a week after school activity ( notice in school newsletter) charge kids $5 a head for a set activity & they take it home- eg scrap book page, If u have the supplies already . Can u do facepainting at the local farmers market? Is there letter box drop work in ur area ( the whole family can help with this)... Trying to think of more.. at the end of the day sweetie, you are doing your very best, & if your kids are okay, ramen noodles is just fine :-)
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:54 PM on Apr. 30, 2010

  • i don't really understand how you don't have enough money. DH is in the military and from my understanding, Air Force gets better pay and better benefits then the Army does. We are doing fine financially and i don't do anything to earn any money. I'm a SAHM with two boys, one of which we are adopting.

    I don't mean to sound less then sympathetic, but i just don't understand (unless a large majority of that is unexpected medical bills) how you didn't realize you couldn't afford the thing you were buying.

    I do, however, understand your DH not wanting to inform everyone of the debt. The military is fnck*d up and DH has has told me when people get in too much debt they do Article 51 them.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:00 AM on May. 1, 2010

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