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how much time does your kids spend in your lap?

my son is spoiled rotten and i know this. i was just wondering HOW spoiled he is lol. he absolutey wont do anything without me or his dad. he spends his entire morning sitting in my lap or sitting in the chair behind me laying on me. right now he's super angry that i have a child gate up so that i can get some work done. but he is usually in my lap from 8 am until whenever he takes his nap then he is in the room with me the rest of the day. he wont play in his room for long, he wont play anything for long without me, is that normal or should i start encouraging him to do things independantly (even though he will cry lol) btw he will be 2 next month


Asked by secondtyme520 at 8:35 AM on May. 1, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • My dd will be 2 at the end of June and she cuddles with me occasionally throughout the day but never sits on my lap for more than 5 mins. She will play in her room all day without needing me to come play with her, but I usually check in on her every 30 min or if she's being too quiet. She is extrememly independent and I know that kids around her age should be a little independent, a lot more than you lo. GL

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 8:47 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • At two years old I would think that's pretty normal he acts that way. They haven't fully developed an imagination to play independently. i would recommend taking him to a play area or setting up a play date with other children. That way he can get more interaction with other children. My son just turned 3, he was like that, I signed him up @ the little gym. Even in the class I have to sit in there with him but he's usually off & running and jumping on the equiptment there. I've noticed more at home that he's playing by himself, not for a long period of time but at least it's a small step. It also helps if I play something with him, teach him how to build ramps with his blocks for his cars, then I say I'm going to go downstairs & start dinner, now you play here & i will be right back. Goodluck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • lol i know thats why i ask. my daughter barely noticed me when she was 2, she would rather be running around with toys, but i literally have to block myself off from him if i am doing something that i dont want him to interrupt! like while i wash dishes he will sit INBETWEEN MY LEGS with his cars. the clinginess is getting to me, i normally dont mind the hugging and kissing and jumping on me, but i am a little tired of it right now and i just want him to go play!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 9:10 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • My DD was just like this, although she is a lot younger (12 months). So, I put a lot of toys she'd never seen in the conservatory and opened the door. It was so exciting for her to be opened up to a new place with new toys, that now she wants down to go play! Maybe you could let him play outside for a bit to get a break... I can't let DD outside alone of course (she'd end up eating rocks! ugh).

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • he does go outside to play in the dirt but its just that when his sister is home, and he wants to hang all over me, she gets jealous of course and i cant get her out of my lap either, so i end up with 2 fighting over me when i would rather they just go play somewhere together and leave me out of it lol

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:02 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • my two year old son is like thats. he's more close to me then his father. if i have to use the bathroom he needs to be with me, if i shower guess who in there with me??? (my son) lol. i cant even go outside for 1.5 secs, to check the mail unless his there with me. my son is spoiled too, i cant wait to put him in daycare!!!!!

    Answer by yamil519 at 10:13 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • for us, that would be really unusual. DD happily plays by herself and with kids her own age. She loves to be active and generally doesn't want to be in my lap. She'll come up and give me hugs and say "aww, cute momma!" as just a kind of checking in thing but then is back to doing her own thing. She is highly independent. I do a lot of things with her but she isn't remotely clingy. I've only known one 2 y/o (I run a playgroup for that age) who was super clingy like that and you could tell it was from his parents own social anxieties that he was picking up on. Not saying that's you but its the only situation I'm aware of. Does he get chances to play with other kids and do a variety of activities? If so, I would just say its a phase or he's naturally a little like that.

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 10:36 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • Im so jealous. My daughter refuses to cuddle. Its a rare treat when she does. Your kid is not spoiled because he loves you and wants to be near you. Its natural. I really wish as a society we could pull the word spoiled away from the association of being held. Think of this, as humans we are the most helpless creatures when we are born, yet we are the only mammels that insist on seperating from our young at a young age. Maybe if we kept our children closer when they are young, they would have less behavioural problems when they become preteens and teens. Just something to think about. I can understand needing time to work, I would explain mommy needs time to work and maybe using one of those paper clocks that teachers use set it for the time it is cuddle time and then put it by a real clock. Even though he is a little young, you will still be teaching him something.

    Answer by MILFInProgress at 10:48 AM on May. 1, 2010

  • My oldest, he is almost 3 1/2 hardly ever sits in my lap, he is not cuddlebug at all, never was. He'd rather play by himself. If he comes to sit in my lap it is usually because he is sick or something. My 2 1/2 year old will come and just want held once in awhile through out the day. I think he just like to know that we are still there. He still plays by himself. But they also have each other to play with so I think that helps. They will go in their room and just play for an hour or so together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • My son is 20 months and he'll sit in our laps after waking up in the morning and after a nap and right before bed. Besides that he's all over the livingroom playing independently. He will bring me toys to hold however, most of the time he's just playing with his toys on the floor. If I go into the kitchen he'll sometimes see what I'm up to but usually doesn't even bother with me. LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on May. 1, 2010