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Question about father's rights, and me moving out of state...

Okay, my DD's father was abusive, and crazy. We broke up when she was 4 months old, and I've been with a great guy ever since. I have had a restraining order against my ex for 2 years, and just continued it yesterday for another year. He was abusive, and the reason I got the restraining order was because he threatened to kill our daughter. He brought me to probate court, and was eventually awarded visitation. He gets her every sunday from noon until 8pm. The visits must be supervised by his parents. He's 24. I'm 20. Our daughter is 2 1/2. My fiance and I also have a 10 month old little boy...and we would like to move. He is really into tree work, cutting down trees for a living...and we would like to move from Mass to New Hampshire. There would be MUCH more tree work available there...and we would live in a small town, and it would just be all together a better place to raise our kids. (my dd calls him daddy) cont

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on May. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • cont....Now, we just found out that he caught a new charge. Armed Robbery. He got out on $2,500 cash bail. Him, his girlfriend, and a friend, drove to her ex boyfriends house with her two kids (under age 3) and they jumped him, stole his wallet and a bracelet, and beat in his face with a brick. They did this in front of these two little girls. She lost her girls...and they have to go back to court May 18th. We all think that with his record...he is going to be gone for at LEAST 2-5years. So...my question is...right now we live 20 mins away from him....but we want to move about 2-3hours away. Do you think I a judge would allow me to do this? What if I bring it to court while he's in jail, and he wont be able to show up? What do you guys think? I don't want my kids growing up here. The school systems near me are disgusting...and I just don't wanna be in Mass anymore. So do you think I'd be allowed to do this?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • if he's in jail, i'm pretty sure they'll make sure he has transportation to court. BUUUUT, this stuff will NOT look good on him, and if you can show that moving is in the best interest of your daughter, it is very likely that they will allow you to move. BUUUUUT, that may also give him a right to overnight visits... careful!
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 4:08 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • Parent's live in different states all the time. The fact that he will be in jail will make it easier I would think for you to do that. The worst the judge (at least in my inexperienced opinion) would do is say that you have to bring your daughter to vist him but I dought even that. I mean she is 2 a little young to be at a jail. Personally I would see if you could get his rights cut, since he really doesn't sound like father material. GL he sounds like a piece of work and I am glad you have found a real man.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 4:17 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • It depends on the state. In my state, you can only move out of the area with the other parent's approval. The only exception would be for a job transfer, and since you aren't married, your SO's job move won't count.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I know a guy who still had visitation rights, and he was in prison. His mother brought his kids every other weekend
    EternalDreams

    Answer by EternalDreams at 4:49 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • It's not like you're moving across the country. One of my friends lives in MA and his ex lives in NH with their son. He still sees him a few times a week because he's only an hour away.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 7:31 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • Get married now (go to the JOP and have the formal thing later) and go to court. I have seen moms post that they were given permission to move for a significant job opportunity, but I don't think you would get the same result with a "fiancee" instead of a husband.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 7:43 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • Three hours is a long way to go for a visit. Have you talked to your EX about how HE feels about it? Or have you just made up your mind to go, without regard for his feelings? No matter how much of a screw-up he is, he is your child's father and he has rights. If you try to move without his permission, he could take you to court and you'd have to return with the child.

    So he's in jail. Big deal. Go visit him and talk to him about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I mean she is 2 a little young to be at a jail.






    Not really. The visits are with her dad, sitting at a table, with some vending machines around, and a place to run around outside. My sister's ex was in jail, and she brought her 3 year old and 5 year to visit their father once a week. They LOVED seeing their daddy-absolutely loved it! And it made it easier for them to resume their relationship once he was released.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • Well he is the one you picked to be the father of your child so you probably should consider his feelings and right in all this.
    Oh and way to go being 20 with 2 kids already. I bet your families very proud bwaaaahaaa
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on May. 1, 2010

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