Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

17 yr old son having sex in MY house. What to do?

My 17 year old son has been dating his girlfriend for 2 years and i found out a while ago that they were having sex. We had the sex talk and he later told me that they decided to wait. I pretty much knew that was crap. Now the other day i came home from being gone all day and found a condom wrapper in the BATHROOM! My son admitted to his wrong doing and apologized. He knows the rules (and so does she) about them being in the house when i'm not. I was very upset that he broke my trust in him and disrespected my rules. Someone suggested i make him start putting some money towards rent since he wants to live "like that". Do i punish a 17 year old or just HOPE it doesn't happen again?

Answer Question

Asked by emily0401 at 11:40 PM on Sep. 23, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • your son is 17 come on now what do you expect is hormones are racing sorry to say this but its most likly going to happen again so maybe you should look into him giving you rent like you mentioned

    Answer by Hotmami1215 at 11:45 PM on Sep. 23, 2008

  • Well, i dont agree with the rent thing but i would def. punish him. i would invite her parents over and along with your son and their daughter talk about what happened. it will embarrass both of them and it will also let her parent know. whatever you decide do not force them apart, they will only sneak around.

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:46 PM on Sep. 23, 2008

  • Personally I would just be happy about the fact that he used a condom. As for the sex in the house thing, I wouldn't charge him rent until he is out of school. He's going to have sex no matter what you say. I would just majorly put my foot down and explain that you do not want it done in your house. If he apologized, he's probably pretty embarrased about the fact of u finding out, and he probably won't do it again.

    Answer by MommyTo2Boyz at 11:50 PM on Sep. 23, 2008

  • I dont know if him paying rent would work, he may think becvuase he is paying that means he can do it again and again. I would contact her parents, how embarrased would that be and you could explain to them both how you are disappointed that they disrespected your home.

    Answer by KeishaWoods at 12:04 AM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • I wouldn't have both parents over like the PP suggested. It will just make them resent you and they'll find somewhere else to go.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 1:06 AM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • I would talk to her parents to let them know whats going on. They should know. I have a 16 yr girl I would like to know. Yes he may go other places to have sex but if they are having sex they should be grown ups about it. If he thinks it's ok to have sex why is he hiding it my bet he thinks he should have done better. I really glad he was smart about it. I would still come home early some times to keep him on his tee. At lest he will think twice the next time. I don't know how you were so nice about the hole thing I would have gone off and I would have wished I handled it like you did

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 AM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • I would of been surprised, since you had no idea he was sexually active with his gf. I would just tell him how you feel about him having sex in your house, and that him and his gf are not to be alone when you are not there. I would def. have the talk with him, about birth control. Its good that he did use a condom, but stress the importance of always using them if they are going to have sex. I wouldn't charge him rent, or call her parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • Back in high school, one of my good guy friends got caught in the same situation. His mom thought that it was best to make the girls parents aware of what was going on and the girls parents had no idea that she was sexually active. You know what happened? Her dad showed up at his house the next day with a gun. Thank goodness his neighbor saw and called the police so nothing ended up happening but if they hadn't... Oh my...
    I am a firm advocate in punishing for it though. Not so much for having sex but for doing it under your roof. It is YOUR house, he should be abiding by YOUR rules!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • Are you legally responsible for him until he's 18? If not, I would show him the door before I would tolerate that in my house. If you are responsible, you could change all the locks and not give him a key. That way, he could not "entertain" unless you were home. I would also tell the girl's parents what is going on. I would probably take away every thing he is using that belongs to me, that is the things which I am providing him, except food and shelter. This is your home, and technically speaking, he is a guest there. You would not tolerate such disregard from other guests in your home, and you should not tolerate it from him.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:15 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • I would tell the girl's parents. And I would punish him. And I would keep a much closer eye on him. But that doesn't mean he won't do the same thing elsewhere. At least it will keep him more accountable for his behavior in your home.

    Answer by PamJM at 12:41 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.