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Is it ok to have my 6 year old son and 4 year old daughter share a room?

My 6 year old son and 4 year old daughter share a room and have done so since my youngest was in a crib. We have a bunk bed with a double bed on the bottom and single on top yet my son likes to sleep down below with his sister (mainly I think because I will lie down with my daughter until she falls asleep - which is an issue of its own - and he doesn't want to feel left out). When I told them of our idea of converting the spare/storage room into a bedroom for one of them they didn't like the idea that one of them may be in it. I think they find a lot of comfort in the company of each other. They've both been very attached children to myself, the mom, and are very close to each other. Is this arrangement ok to continue and if so up to what age?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on May. 1, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • i think u should separate their rooms as soon as u can. right now ure eldest is 6. which is a harmless age. but u'll have to do it sooner or later. personally i would feel more comfortable if my children of opposite sex are sleeping in different rooms. if they were both boys or both girls, then it would have been different ofcourse

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I would encurage the closeness between them, that will benefit them thruout life.
    And I would believe they would let you know when it's time for a separation. (If not sooner, they will probably request it when the oldest hit the pre-teen years.)

    Answer by Nynne at 7:17 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I agree with Nynne. They'll let you know when they need their own space/privacy. Until then, I don't see it as an issue. If they like each other's company so much, I say do everything you can to keep it that way. :)

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 7:23 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I would put them in different rooms if possible.. They are at a innocent age, but sometimes that is what gets kids into trouble... They are still at a very curious age..
    Ive just read so many stories about sibling sharing rooms.. or something or other at a young age that i would never be comfortable with doing it..
    I know its common in some families, im sure plenty keep a healthy normal relationship.. but i just would not risk it (myself)..

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 11:31 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I do NOT see an issue with it at all. I sep. my two b/c I could'nt deal with trying to get them to bed anymore and ds was having to handle dd's messes. BUT... they wanted it and they will still sometimes share a room or bed.
    They are 4 and 6... people are wack re "inapp."
    btw, my bro and I shared a room until I was about 8 or 9 and sometimes snuck back for a while after b/c we were not used to it and no it was never inapp (crazy, sick, people)

    if they want to stay tog. I would say let them be... just let them know its the extra room is there of whoever wants it when they are ready.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 10:24 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Not in Wisconsin. The law here is that once the older one reaches 5 years old they need seperate behdrooms. You can check with your local DCFS department and see what they say.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:58 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Not a problem in my book. My 8 1/2yo son shares a room with his 7yo sister. They are 13 months apart and have shared a room for most of their lives. For 2 years, when my son was 3 1/2-almost 6 years old, he has his own room and every single night he sneaked into his sisters' room and slept on the floor between their beds. So when we moved I gave the 3 of them the master bedroom (it was the biggest). My son had a little alcove on one side and the girls had the other side and every night I found him sleeping on the floor between their beds.
    He's very close to both his sisters (he is 15 months younger then his older sister).
    We're getting ready to move and we'll only have a 3bd house and have 3 girls and 1 boy. He will most likely still share with one of the girls (his choice) although the kids suggested they put all 4 beds in one room and use the other as a play room.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:11 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • There is nothing wrong with them sharing and i would encourage their closeness.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • I think it's fine up until one of them starts puberty. I would just keep the door open to make sure they don't fool around - which is normal of kids that age. My son and daughter will be sharing a room for several years yet (3 years and 20 months).

    Answer by lifetimelove at 7:53 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • Whether you "can" or can't depends on which state you live in. In some states you can not place a boy and a girl in a room together. Where I live, DFACS actually would investigate it if anyone reported it. (My sis went through that)

    If I were you, I would go ahead and set up the room and make it as appealing as possible to her and then tell her that it is her choice where she sleeps. After a while, she will want her own space, so let her ease into it.


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 7:30 AM on May. 3, 2010

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