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When the farther of my child soon to be born (next wk) says...

are you wanting us to stay together? After he dumped me & we've been going through a rough break up this last wk. I avoided the question because for the last 3days I made it clear I didn't want us to break up. Or to go thro this a wk before delivery. He dumped me & it's been crazy every since. He's out of town & had planned to come back in for baby's birth so he's still going to be here the next 2 wks us in the same house. I wanted soo badly to say "yes I want us to stay together" but his attitude lately has hurt so much I was afraid I'd have to hear him say "no" again so I just went on talking about the baby. I guess inside I'm hoping when he gets here Wed we'll cool down & this'll be a bad dream. Other signs show he's done, deleting me of his "friends", posting "single", claiming he's told his parents who love me we're over. IDK be honest & have my heart stomped on? Or is he just trying to screw with me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on May. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • its over. start to move on. maybe one day, you guys will begin a new relationship, regardless of if its next week or next year... but either way- there will be a new relationship between the two of you; father and mother. it doesnt suggest that father/mother will have a relationship together though.

    i hope that if you do decide to take him back/regain a "family" relationship (as a couple), that you make him work hard to "make up" in a way- all of the hurtful things he's said or done in the past. words dont mean anything- actions do. he can say that he loves you, he'll change and never say anything mean to you, but that doesnt mean he truly means all that... actions will prove it. remember that.

    gl and congrats on the baby... and GL for the delivery as well.

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 9:27 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I would not put up with this nonsense from him. I'd get on with my life and if he chooses to be a part of it then he has to prove himself. Don't chase him though. Act like you don't even care.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I read your other post about the break-up. I think it's horrible that you're going through this so close to your delivery. I wish you or he had some where else to stay during this time. I can tell you my dh didn't handle my first prenancy well. And he really detached from me for the first couple of years of our son's life. We had been married 9 years before his birth. I guess the responsibility of fatherhood is just too much for some men to handle. And I suspect he feels guilty so instead of acting like a grown up he resorts to childish behavior blaming and insulting you.I would not get back with him at this point, I would wait til the baby is here and you two are settled in your new lives before I would even discuss getting back together.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:24 PM on May. 1, 2010

  • I agree with Austinsmom35. Right now take care of you and the baby, that is the most important thing. After the baby is born, like several months after, then reconsider the relationship. My husband did something kinda like that to me. Our son is 4 months old now. We still don't have our relationship sorted out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Focus on yourself and your child, he doesn't deserve anything from you at this point. Treating you this way at such a critical point in your pregnancy is the most selfish, careless thing he could have ever done and his actions SCREAM that he does not love you. I'm sorry for what he's put you through and I have read your previous posts, please take the advice you've been given. Do you really want to be with someone who would throw you away like this, that would risk his childs health with this selfish crap before the child is even born? He should be on his hands and knees begging for your forgiveness right now, instead he's playing with your head... and that is most definitely what's he doing here. You and your child deserve better. Is this really the role model you want for your child? Would you ever trust him again after doing this to you right now, when you need him the most?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Wow! Ask him why he wanted to conceive a child with you in the first place?

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:22 AM on May. 2, 2010

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