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How stressful is it having your second child?

I had PPD with my first whose 17 months now and my hubby and I have started talking about IF we should have a second. I'm so happy now with my daughter now I'm so scared if I have a second I won't be able to handle it. But I feel guilty only having one child. Any input? Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on May. 2, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (14)
  • I found having a second child made things easier on me. I had mine 3 yrs apart. That just worked well for me.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:51 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I had PPD with my first, and then came along my twin boys and it was still hard, I still expirienced the PPD...but it wasn't as intense. I think it's different for everyone, but don't be afraid to talk to someone and/or take meds temporarily to help you through that time. I couldn't imagine having only one...but you do the best for you and for your family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I have 3... If i would have had the foresight to have seen the issues DS#1 was going to have now, I probably would have second guessed having anymore.

    That being said... 2 wasn't bad. I could still leave the house on time with them in tow. I could get some housework down on a daily basis. I would have to say 2 was actually better then 1 because they entertain each other. (after the first 18 months of course)
    3 now that's a different story. Now i am lucky to get a shower everyday.
    MomOfDagJag

    Answer by MomOfDagJag at 12:54 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • well first off why would you feel guilty only having one child, you lost me with that one? If you mean for your childs sake, wanting a brother or sister then ok, I can see what your saying but thats not a reason to have another child. Your child is still really young, and there is no rush to have more right now. I wouldnt say wait years but just give it another couple years or so. Some people like to have their children back to back so they can raise them together, but children are a blessing and watching them grow up is not something you want to rush. So having children back to back sometimes rushes watching each child become who they will be. Plus you had ppd...even if your better just enjoy right now so that it doesnt come right back up. Dont be in such a hurry, for what? I wish you the best, but take life as it comes, dont force it. Plus having two at the same age will be really hard on you. Trust me I have twins ;)
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 12:59 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • My first was 5 by the time my second was born so it wasn't much stress because the older one was at school but now that I have 3 it's stressful and I am currently pregnant with number 4.

    JAIRATRACI

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 1:11 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I feel like it's easier to have two. They are best friends and keep each other entertained so I can wash dishes and clean the house and whatnot.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I think you should enjoy motherhood the way it is right now and have another child when you feel that it's the most important thing for you at the time.I mean,I always knew I wanted more than one,,just like I always knew I'd want another baby when I felt the time right for me,my DH and DD#1.That was 5 1/2 years after my first for me at least.Don't have children because you think it's the right thing or out of guilt.Have them for that single,most important reason of all:out of love!
    MyrMar

    Answer by MyrMar at 4:14 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • The World Health Org recommends waiting at least 3 years before ttc. It takes this long to recover and for the best womb environment. I think this is very important for mothers who have experienced PPD. If you have another baby having a doula for the birth and postpartum can help prevent PPD.


    My first was huge adjustments and I may have had PPD. My second was 3.5 years later and very easy. Easy birth, easy recovery, no PPD.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:52 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Mine are almost exactly 2 years apart, and I had a really hard time after baby #2. My barely 2 year old had a very hard time adjusting to his new sibling, and the new baby needed me all the time (that's what newborns do)! That said, now that they are older, the stress of that first year was totally worth it. They are best friends and keep each other busy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • My girls are 3.5 yrs apart......and I found it EXTREMELY stressful. Things are slowly getting better now that baby is 5 months old. It was WAY harder than I anticipated....and my 3.5 yr old is VERY easy to parent. But, breastfeeding, juggling their needs at the same time....was very overwhelming.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on May. 2, 2010

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