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I have been really depressed about this...

My dd is four months old. I went back to work when she was six weeks old. Her grandmother keeps her sunday till thursday because i work from four pm untill four am. I go and spend time with her every day at her grandmothers for two or three hours before i have to go into work. She acts perfect when she is there never crys and is always smiling. But when i am not working and she is at home with me she screams non stop and it does not feel like she wants to be close to me. It has gotten so bad some days i have had to go spend the night at her grandmothers with her. I love my child very much and want to be with her as much as i can. But i also need to provide for her. I have been looking for another job that has better hours but have not found and thing so far. I get really upset and cry alot about this. I just dont know what to do or how to feel.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on May. 2, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (7)
  • grandma's house feels like home to your baby. it's where she is most used to being. grandma is also her primary care taker because she spends more time w/ her than u.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Wow...that was helpful anon...

     Anyway op... is there anyway you could move in with grandma? I know it probably isn't the ideal for you or her, but maybe it would make the transition for you and your baby easier. Big hugs, I can't imagine how hard it has to be on all of you.


    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:45 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • i agree with anon. and might even go as far as saying that she might even feel abandoned (at least in part) by you. keep looking for that other job. but stop beating yourself up! you do what you have to do. it might be hard on both of you now but later she will understand that it is what you had to do.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:45 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I was going to ask if you could move in with grandma too. I am sure most of us would feel awful in your situation. I think I can even say that I would rather be on some sort of assistance for a while if it meant I would get to stay with my own baby all the time. It makes me sad to think of babies being without their own mamas, and mamas ache to be with their babies too.

    Answer by MyGiftsFromGod at 1:58 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I'm anon 1:40. it hurst but that's they way a baby will see things. see if u can move in w/ grandma for awhile, it would be very healling for u and u're baby. and help u find u're place as the mother

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • She probably thinks grandma is her mommy because she is there so often. And am I reading this right.... you work 60/week?? 12 hr shifts 5 days/week!? That is crazy! I would cut back your hours to 40/week if that is the case... providing for her is more than just money... it's being her mother as well and it seems you don't have time to do that.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 10:27 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I agree with AmiJanell, you need to cut back some hours. Its very important for you and your daughter to be together and share the bond. Otherwise, whats the point of working so hard if you both are going to be unhappy. Find the happiness in your heart, even if that means having to cut back on a few things.

    Im so sorry you are going through something like this. It must be so heartbreaking to leave your 6 week old and go back to work. You are a great mother... *Hugs*

    Answer by mercilove at 6:31 PM on May. 2, 2010

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