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Mixed feelings...

So, my DH is gone for work for two weeks. He didn't take the cell phone, so he has to hunch over at a pay phone to talk to us, and can only talk for 10 min. We always argue when he calls, so last night I told him if he can only talk 10min.. to not call back. He hasn't. Not too long ago I wanted a divorce really bad. He wasn't appreciating me, he wasn't helping out with the baby, and he was virtually nonexistent (he's going to school full time and working full time.. his choice). Well, he just had to take off school because of this work trip he was taking.. and it was great, it was like I had a husband again and we decided no divorce. But now that he's gone... we're just back to fighting and I know it will be like this until he gets his degree... 3 years from now. What do you ladies think? Do I just need to give up cuz we're fighting so much? or stick it out? It's really stressful and we have a 1 year old.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 AM on May. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • take a deep breath. What you are fighng about isn't the little things,it is "control". I have a task for you. For the next two weeks. No matter what he says, no matter what is pissing you off, you are not allowed to make a nasty/ snippy/ snide comment/ Make it all nice talk about home life. babies & what he is doing. Two things will happen. You will realise how quickly you criticize, rise to a baited comment & start an argument. He will have a break from you telling him what he needs/ should/ has to do, & have no-one to fight with or blame.
    I was at the point where I wanted to walk away as the fights were too hard. Then I did this for 2 weeks, I realised how much I nagged & whined & he had nowhere to go with his arguing Ph contact isn't everything, people have survived for thousands of years without it. Ask yourself If little Jimmy asks why his parents separated, can you answer "because Daddy wouldn't buy a prepaid phone"?
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 5:12 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • You have another choice, stop fighting. Either do it on your own or you go to counseling. It doesn't sound like he has time to go to couple's counseling.


    He can get a prepaid cell phone for less than $20 at stores like WalMart.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:34 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • He could buy a Magicjack and then he can call you from any computer with internet access. If he has a laptop he can call from anywhere that has wifi. Then there are no minutes to worry about.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:37 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • OP here: He has a lap top and wasted the battery on the bus ride over there. We're overseas right now, so he doesn't have the option of going to Walmart, but there are phones he can buy there.. I begged him to, and he wouldn't. He says there are places for him to charge the laptop, but hasn't don't it yet. He's not trying to communicate with me. He doesn't try to make time for me or our child when he's working and going to school.. he makes plenty of time for games though. He would prefer veg out on the couch rather than going outside on a nice day to play with us. No, he doesn't have time for counseling.

    We get along fine for the most part, but we fight about little things like whether or not he should go buy a prepaid phone and be able to talk to us more. It's like I'm FIGHTING for more time with him.. and he's fighting against it.

    I don't know what to do... :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • stick it out life is full of ups and downs. Find some hobby or interest for yourself so you can have a break from the kids and house. It is overwhelming to have all the responsibility on one person. Tell your DH you need an outlet and find a way to make it happen.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:56 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • He actually isn't okay with that. He started spending an hour at the gym at night, and when I asked if I could find a yoga class or pilates class to attend, he told me no.. he said I was a stay at home mom.. I didn't have a job, therefore I didn't need any breaks. No joke. I've about had it.. I'm pretty sure there are better fish in the sea then him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 AM on May. 2, 2010

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