Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I wrong?

Ok so here is the situation. My daughter has a medical condition that requires no chemicals (in or around her period) and strictly (naturally) and organic diet. Our whole family is aware of this, but don't seem to care. All I am asking is is it wrong for me to expect them to comply by her medical needs when they know or wish for us to come around? Like provide at least one thing she/we can eat and make sure they have not used chemicals (like house hold cleaners, etc.). *wouldn't you do the same for some one with diabetes or asthma by making sure you use low sugar or like not smoking. . .etc.??? Am I wrong to be PISSED OFF that our family does not do this?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on May. 2, 2010 in Kids' Health

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • We went through this, too, with our son, and our solution was to simply stop visiting the inconsiderate relatives. You cannot force people to do in their own homes what you want them to do, no matter how simple or logical a request it may seem to be to you, it is a monumental task to them. They are not living your life, therefore cannot relate, no matter how much you explain. We decided that if it was important for our relatives to see us & our child, they would come to us. Naturally, that was too much trouble, so we rarely, if ever, saw any of them. No problem as far as we were concerned. To us, relatives are "family" only by accident of birth, but true family are your closests friends, & our friends became our "family", complete with surrogate grandparents, uncles, aunts & cousins. Our son doesn't miss his "relatives" at all, b/c we have an established network of friends who truly care for him & who understand his needs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • * I am so Pissed. . . They talk "shit" about us saying it is excuses for us not to do family things and that there is nothing wrong with my DD. Even when they have seen documentation form the dr. too. . .I want to do family things, but not at the risk of my DD's health. What am I supposed to bring/supply her medical masks, protective gloves, food, drinks. . . practically keep her in a bubble for family get togethers? That doesn't seem fair to her. . . But maybe it is just me. . .it just pisses me off though!!!
    What do you all think?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • What is her condition?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • the condition is irrelevant is it not? She is diagnosed with Two birth malformations that cause severe medical issues on top of just having the two malformations. . . I will give some details. . . she has had over 30 procedures and surgeries all dealing with her GI tract and digestion. Any and ALL chemicals she reacts too and it puts her in the hospital within 2 weeks of the contact. She has been like this since birth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I think that would piss me off too....
    are there ANY family members that "get it"? If there is just one, maybe that ONE can invite you guys over and demonstrate for the rest what to do. Sometimes people act ignorant because they are afraid, unsure, etc.
    Also, how are people supposed to avoid household cleaners, if they are inviting people over? maybe you have to explain a little better to some of them (not us!) what you mean by that. :)

    Good luck. Friend me if you'd like.

    Answer by kjrn79 at 10:11 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Thanks! unfortunately the only one who somewhat gets it is only 15. I was thinking about hosting a HUGE birthday party for my DD this summer and try to demonstrate then. . . she is 6. The whole family treats us like criminals for this and say they want to get to know us and her. . . but. . . they don't try. Yes, I think it is a lot of ignorance. It still hurts though.
    Thanks again!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • Hard to say how I would feel. I would like to say that I would be mad but, if you think about it, you are asking your family to change what they clean with when your daughter isn't going to be over everyday. I get the food, they should have something she can eat if they are inviting you over to eat and know she can't have most foods. Maybe they think the cleaners you are talking about are going to cost a lot, talk to them about what you use....if you make your own cleaner then offer to give them some and show them it works just as well as what they are using. Also, if she is going anywhere outside the house they may not believe she is as bad off as you say she is.

    Have them over to your house more, doesn't have to be all at once, maybe by them getting to know her they will be more accommodating to get you over for family things.


    Answer by tazdvl at 11:09 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • You cannot control what other people do in their homes. If you want them to see your daughter, have them to your house. Also, how do you deal with stores, restaurants, school, church, etc? You can have the family over for an information session and give them information from the doctor on her conditon and what can happen to her if she is exposed to the things that are harmful. If they don't like having to see her at your house, then that is too bad for them.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:35 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • I do make my own cleaners. . . and have offered to them. . . they have used them and then go back to their other products because they still do not believe they are any good or good enough and complain, even when I offer to supply them. And we only ask that they no use other cleaners if they know we coming over or wish for us to. . . not every day. . .I feel they should make changes for family but I won't make them. . .that has to be their choice. But it is the fact that they just won't. We have tried and tried to explain to them. They pretty well feel that she should endure and deal with the consequences.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on May. 2, 2010

  • ok school. . .I homeschool her, so not an issue. Church. . .I am a solitary practitioner, not an issue there either. We don't do restaurants unless they are organic and yes there are a few in the area. Stores. . .she is suited up if she goes with me, and even then it is not for every long. I make and grow much of what we need. . .so not too much of an issue. We have asked them to come over and guess what. . .they say no. . .they don't like organics or organic foods so they use that as an excuse. . .And believe me we have informed them and informed them on her condition and what happens. . .and guess what. . . It must go in one ear and out the other. . .cause it hasn't changed. After so long it is not just irritating and frustrating it just starts to piss you off. . . I somewhat feel bad that it makes me so mad. . . But I do feel justified. Aren't families supposed to make the necessary adjustments for their families?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on May. 2, 2010