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Okay, what do I do? I'll try to make this short and sweet..I am the step mom for almost 9 years, my s/s lives with us. See's his mother on the weekends. We always give a little extra to her in hopes that she would do the same for us.

She never does. No, we do not get along, yes in front of the child. Whenever we ask to have a couple extra hours so we can do something she always says no, no, no. I have been at every school function since he's been with us for the last 3 years, she has not. She only started this year. I understand setting aside differences while the boy is around and I can do that. This is my problem. He's in fourth grade and has a school dance coming up, we are so pumped to go again, no she didn't go last year. So we have plans to dress up and go but she is saying no he needs to go with her instead. I dropped an invite to her saying she could come here and get ready with us. She said no, again. what do I do? should I just take him or should I bring him to his mother at the given time he should be there? Just take another one on the chin? I guess I'm tired of giving and giving and her not doing the same..... I really want to take him.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on May. 2, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (4)
  • First, you take SS to his mother at the required time.

    Second Mom is not allowed to keep Dad from SS's school functions even if they happen on her time. So DH can go and take you as a date, and there's nothing Mom can do about it. ; )

    Answer by desert_diva at 6:08 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • errr...I meant 'from his son's' not SS's

    Answer by desert_diva at 6:08 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • so her saying no to everything is something that I just need to deal with? Should I just start saying no to her all the time? I don't do that because I don't think it's fair for s/s. I feel like we just get the shaft all the time with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • I think it needs to be clear that YOU aren't saying no, your DH is saying no. It's his son and ex, and he needs to decide what happens here. If he would like to go, then you guys go. If it is during your custody time, then it is only out of courtesy that she is being invited, and she has no grounds to stop you from attending. If it is in her custody time, then she has the legal right to have him get ready at her home, and to take him. Of course you are also able to attend, but it might also be okay to let SS have that time with just his Mom if you have attended all the others Have you asked your SS what he wants? I would let him and DH make the call.
    I know you love him and have been his visible Mom for these years and it must hurt to see her waltz in and now try to take over, but you can continue to behave graciously and pleasantly and be the better person. As he grows your SS will see the truth.

    Answer by myheartx4 at 6:31 PM on May. 2, 2010

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