Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Adult children moving back home?

If an adult MARRIED child has fallen on hard times, should you let them and their family live with you temporarily? (I am not speaking about bums who never had a job, I am speaking of a layoff in the family)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on May. 2, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (15)
  • I would. There is a big difference in families falling on hard times and someone who has an adult child who is just a bum. If you can't count on your family, who can you count on?

    Answer by BlooBird at 9:21 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • I am not in your situation (my kids are little yet) but if you have space and don't mind, it would be a blessing. Maybe with the understanding that they abide by some rules you set up/ boundaries.

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:23 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • I think it's great when family can help out family... but if you don't have the space or don't feel comfortable (like it would put too much of a strain on relationships) then it's certainly not an obligation. If you can help and are wiling too then I think that's great. Unfortunately hard times are hitting a lot of folks right now.

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:30 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • If it came down to it my in laws would have let us move in. My husband lost his job after my parents had bought a rental property in our town, so luckily they are letting us stay in one of the houses on the property for free while my husband is in nursing school. We are very fortunate to have family like this on both sides.
    If it's a matter of losing a job and crap is happening fast, I would probably let my married child move in with us with his/her family, but there would be rules, and you better be busting your A$$ to find a job and to get back out on your own.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • I think it would be fine IF you give them a time limit with the understanding that they are to be actively searching for another job & they agree to contribute to the household while they're there. If they can't afford to help out financially, they can help with the cooking, household chores & outside maintenance, errands etc.

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 9:44 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • My parents have always helped my family out when we needed it. They have let my boyfriend and I and our kids live with them temporarily while we saved up to find a new place to live. My grandparents did the same for their kids (although they insist on the couple being married, they are old fashioned - nothing wrong with that, just mentioning it). So, yes, given the example that has been set for me by my family, when my kids are grown, if they needed a place to stay, or any kind of help from me at all, if it is within my power to do it, yes, I would help them. There would be some stipulations, as there are with me, such as I do the cooking, cleaning, etc. since I stay home, stuff like that, but I could never turn my back on my child if I knew they needed my help and that I *could* help them.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:51 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • Definitely. Fallen on hard times, just can't get back on their feet - sure. I'd let them move back in temporarily. But they would have responsibilities with in the house.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:03 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • Yes. We lived with my mom for a time in 1988 and then with my dad for a time in 1990-1991 and again in 1999 (all 3 times were because of moves from one state to the state they lived in). I would let my adult child move in but I am not sure any would want to. We only have 1 extra bedroom and it's very small so it wouldn't accomodate more than 2-3 people and it would be very cramped. But they could if they were fine with being cramped.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on May. 2, 2010

  • Of course! who better than your parents to lend out a helping hand!

    Answer by older at 7:48 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I definitely would, especially if I knew it was a temporary situation and my child was working to solve the issue. I have had several friends who moved back in with their parents temporarily even as a married couple to save money for a house or because of lack of funds.

    Heck, I'd probably offer to help my bum child, too. I'd just be a little bit tougher (or sick my hubby on them to straighten up!).

    Answer by mickstinator at 12:09 PM on May. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Adult Children (18+)
german boy?

Next question overall (Money & Work)
Anyone here in my boat??