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What should I do? Should I tell her?

My ex and I split up when he impregnated someone else. He and she are married now and have a son and we have a daughter together. We've been sleeping together this whole time. She knew about me all along when she slept with him and vice versa. She does not know we are still sleeping together. I want to tell her but I don't. Should I?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on May. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Are you ready for the drama?.........if it happens? ask yourself that question first and then proceed.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:31 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I am in a way which is why I posted anon. I know some people are going to say I'm a whore for sleeping with a married man but there's so much more to the story. I've been with him for years. She's been there for less than a year

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • OP here - when I say less than a year it's because they split up for a 5 month period

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • SleepingBeautee- I don't want him back. I'm not a whore. I have bene sleeping with the same man for 5 years now. She was supposed to be my friend and was there when our daughter was born. She completely stabbed me in the back and actually used our friendship to get closer to him. I guess I just kind of want her to know so she knows he did the same thing to her

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • You are just going to get hurt in this whole situation. Why would you want to continue to sleep with a man you know that you can not have a real relationship with? He is just using you to get sex when he gets bored of the wife.are you wanting to tell her so she will leave him and hope he will come back to you ?If you told her it would only be for your selfishness to see her hurt. You should end the relationship and tell the guy he should come clean with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • anon :40 it's hard to just walk away because we do have a child together. I do not want him back at all. I also do not want our child confused as to why daddy is in mommy's bed and then leaves. He does not see our son unless he comes over here. I guess things continue for us because we have an attraction towards each other. We have never had a break sex wise since we met. They both hurt me so bad after our child was born and yeah it'd be great if she knew what that felt like. I'm not going to lie.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • OP here....I like how I'm the whore because he's married to her but we were together first with no breaks, she gets pregnant on purpose by him and they get married all while she is my friend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Just because she did it to you first doesn't make it okay for you to stoop to her level. She was trashy to begin with, so you had to one up her by continuing to sleep with him?

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:51 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Sleepingbeautee - I get that but it does make me feel better

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • If I'm understanding what you're saying, your so and your friend betrayed you by having an affair, and now they're married. You were hurt and angry about it, which is totally understandable. You don't want him back.

    It sounds like there's an element of "tit for tat" - she hurt you, and you want to hurt her back (though I think you should consider that he also hurt you - and this whole time he's been able to "have his cake and eat it, too" - just switching which "cake" is the "official" one...)

    But like you said, your son is going to get confused by this - he's going to wonder about it. Yes, you're getting back at her, but you're letting your ex get away with all sorts of crap, and you're letting your son see that you're stooping to this woman's level.

    I think that's why you don't know what you want to do... I think, for the sake of you, your ds, and karma, yes, tell her, BUT STOP sleeping with him and move on...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:09 AM on May. 3, 2010

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