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my 18 yr old is home for the weeeknd with a friend..she and her friend said they were running out to the car and will be right back and they left instead

I am really annoyed by this...why couldn't they just say they were leaving. I know she is 18 and an adult but where is the respect?
What would you do or say if this were your daughter?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on May. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • It is a matter of consideration, respect, and honesty. I think that one thing that helped with my mom and our situation (although I dont think her and I would have ever run into these problems just because of how I am with her in general) is that she told my sister and I when we were seniors/18..... She said that once we were 18yrs. and Graduated from High School, that we could come and go as we pleased and have people over and all that as long as we were respectful of her and gave her consideration. She said, no sex in the living room (or loud sex) (that was a funny convo and sounds even worse typing it) and the big thing was that if we werent going to be coming home that night or it was going to be really late we needed to let her know so that she wasn't up worrying where we were. It didn't matter that we were going to be out and about, but she just needed to know what to expect.


    Answer by aly38914290 at 6:43 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • She is 18. Let her go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I would be irked too. I would not care much either way depending on how much I trust my child but at least tell me the truth. if you are planning to just run out to the car(which actually to me sounds like they were going to get high or something, but that is just my opinion), I don't know for sure but I would think that (why else would her friend need to join her just to run out to the car?). I would bet money that they got high and went to 7eleven or something, but I may be wrong.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:06 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • op....It is a matter of consideration and being honest

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Your house, your rules. If she can't follow them, hand her apartment listings and a 30 day eviction notice, or hand her a lease for her room

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:52 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I would have a talk with her about honesty. I would explain that you understand she is legally an adult. However, that you deserve the truth. I would tell her you didn't care that they left and went somewhere, but that you deserve and would appreciate the truth. I would let her know there is no reason to lie. I dont know if there is too much more to the situation, but I would probably use this time to set up some boundaries that you are comfortable with, but make sure to explain your 18 she should be able to understand for the most part.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 6:45 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • That's just rude. I'm an adult and so is dh, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to know if he's leaving and vice versa. Did they say why they did this? Did they go out to the car to look for something and not find it so ran to the store or something like that? If they are staying at your house they should be more respectful. If they want to come and go without any regard to anyone else they should go to a hotel.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I'd sit her down and tell her that I am not happy with her behavior. I'd let her know that yes she is an 'adult' but while she lives under my roof she follows my rules. Rule #1-- keep me informed-- tell me when/where you are going and an approx time you will be back (this is especially important if she plans to use MY vehicle).

    Answer by MizLee at 8:52 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Tell her that she's an adult and she needs to act like one. For a lot of reasons she needs to tell you where she's going, with who, and when she'll be back. Not so you can tell her she can't go, but so if she doesn't come back you know where to look. Lots of things can happen anywhere and your priority is her safety so when she's at your house you would like her to leave a note at the very least. When adults visit other adults they do things like that, because people that care about you worry no matter how old you are.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Your house YOUR RULES. Tell her she needs to be respectful of you and your rules....OR she can move out and pay for herself while she still knows everything!

    Answer by salexander at 12:59 PM on May. 3, 2010