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everything i do seems to backfire,, what now...

so its been a bumpy ride in my marriage and we have a lot of little agreements. I have been reading tons of marriage books and things to help us. even how to improve your marriage without talking about it.. things seemed to be going good. one thing he agreed months ago not to download images of women and save them. so now he has a few pics of women downloaded, i think he is going to start up his pic collection again.. should i say something or just see if he does,. its real annoying.. not the pic. the fact he said he doesn't need them and if they bothered me he wouldn't have them.
its just so annoying......its like he is starting to go back to his old habbits.. other things too but this is the most obvious.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 AM on May. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • op here, should i just delete them.. ask him about it, leave it alone and let him just do whatever he wants to.. ??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Why anyone would want that trash in their computer or risk the viruses that are often attached to them, is beyong my ability to reason. Apparently, to him fantasy is better than reality. Many people don't realize that there is no healthy or innocent porn. Profits always trickle down to support the seedier types of porn where women are bought and sold and children molested. Unless you want that kind of life to be your future, I'd say don't get in too deep that you are left with no way out of your marriage. To have to live your life in compettition with fantasy, is unfair and in the process, you will find yourself lost.
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 7:26 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • wow that was said pretty darn well, gmmolly has a point.I think if you don't put your foot down it will get ALLOT worse .With any addiction people pick up where they left off, for him it was the pixers, & porn,so thats where he'll start & it WILL get worse.I used to live with a man like that, it was AWFUL for my self asteem, he thought he was some kind of god.Your life your choice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • no he can't do whatever he wants he must be held responsible, let him know how you feel. also I recommend marriage counseling & reading the five love languages.
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 7:47 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Sounds like he may already be addicted. I would offer to go with him to get help, but if he doesn't agree to that, then you will have to make a decision as to whether or not this is something you can tolerate in your marriage. To me, it is equal to adultery, because he is lusting after other women, and I could not tolerate that.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:09 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • My husband has this same problem, I hate it, but he still does it, we have a good marriage otherwise, I guess for me it got to the point where I either had to accept it or leave. I guess I chose to accept it, I hate it, but I acept it. He does not watch porn, he likes pictures, not super gross pictures, actually normally the nicer classier ones (if that is even possible lol) But I still hate it, but i cant keep him from doing it. I pray for him all the time, and I hope that one day that God will help him see what he is doing, but thats all I can do. I believe in marriage too much to leave him for it. And you cant control him. You can tell him how you feel about it, but I think he already knows, so now its up to you to decide what you need to do about it. And I disagree that its going to get worse, it doesnt always get worse. Also check out the proper care and feeding of husbands, great marriage book.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on May. 3, 2010

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