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My 9 year old SS is HORRIBLE when other children are around !! Please help me !

My 9 year old stepson is an only child at our house, but he has a younger sister at his moms. He's usually a good kid, but if we have play dates with my friends and their kids, he's horrible. We can't even take him to birthday parties because when it's not ALL about him, he is bad. My neice came and spent this last weekend with us and he was so bad, I was in tears most of the weekend. He likes to have all the attention and when he doesn't, he pitches huge fits. The kind where he is ugly to people and telling his father he hates him and telling his grandparents he wished they were dead. I mean, a serious fit! My husband and I had planned to have kids, but I know how it'll be every Friday-Monday and I can't deal with him acting like this. What do I do? We punish, time outs, groundings, take things away and nothing changes how he feels. It's happened since we got married, but it's gotten worse over the last two years.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on May. 3, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (5)
  • I would get the child into therapy. If he is saying things like he hates people and wishes they would die, he needs some help. That is not normal for a 9 year old.

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:20 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Oh he is jealous! IDK,, but sounds like some family counseling would be in orders esp. before you have kids of your own? How is he in school? Thanks for being a good step mommy! I am amazed he won't listen to your DH, usually boys that age want to please their dad!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:20 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Set consequences for his behavior.... He's old enough to know better.. Pills and therapy aren't going to fix it, being consistent is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • You need to take him to a counselor NOW! His behavior is not normal and his telling his grandparents he wished they were dead......BIG RED FLAG.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:35 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • First, why isn't he with his Mother? Not saying that there isn't anything wrong with his current living arrangments but maybe he is mad he is not with Mother? He seems to have anger issue that therapy needs to address or at least call his Pedi for a place to start. I won't post my story on here because it is just too private but I know from experience what your dealing with. Seek professional help before it gets worse.

    And, whoever said pills and therapy won't fix it. Your an idiot! Therapy and meds can do wonders. Therapy alone can do wonders. Close minded people like you are the reason others don't seek help, you make them feel it won't work.

    Answer by heather_kygirl at 11:04 AM on May. 4, 2010

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