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Can you make amends to the divorce decree?

When my husband and his ex got divorced due to her cheating, he lived in the same city that she did. However, his job moved him to a city over an hour away. In the papers, it states that he's responsible to drive all the way to her house to pick him up and drop him off. Can that be changed? She was meeting us in the middle until she asked for 700 dollars extra child support to buy my 9 yr old SS a 60 inch tv for his bedroom and my DH declined because we didn't have it, now we have to make the 1 1/2 hour commute because she's a bitch. Also, how hard is it to go from her having full custody to joint custody? My DH couldn't afford a lawyer when they divorced and got screwed royally. He doesn't have anytime in the sumer with his son and holidays aren't written in stone so she decides when we can see him and we are so sick of it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on May. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It sounds to me that this is his problem... If he wants anything changed he needs to see an attorney and put in for modification of the visitation schedule. A lawyer would be able to point him in the right direction. If it's a new divorce in my experience it will be very hard to get anything changed because a judge will want the child to get used to the routine before changing it up too soon. As for what she buys with the support money is no ones business as long as the child is well taken care of. Your Hubby is going to have to be the one to get anything changed. Sadly the step parent doesn't have any rights as far as the divorce, visitation etc... Just remember to do what's in the best interests of the child, what benefits you and your husband may not benefit the child....

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:59 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • OP here: ... She asked for an extra 700 dollars for a TV.. not that she was spending that money on a TV. And yeah, I'm sorry.. It comes out of our pocket and our hard earned money. It is a little bit of our business. But anyways, they've been divorced for 5 years.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I went thru this also... you will need to get a lawyer to enter in a modification to the divorce decree. You can try for joint custody, but it will be really hard to get it... we have been there and done that. BUT you can also ask that either one time she goes to your house and drop SS off and then the next time you guys go to her house and pick him up... OR you can ask to meet half-way. Make sure you have EVERYTHING in writing. We use the WILSON schedule... which is every other weekend, every other holiday and 2-3 weeks in the summer. Also, its a good idea to put in the decree about tax exemptions... who will claim him and which years. Also, if you buy him anything keep the receipts and write everything down that has to do with your SS. Papers do wonders in court. GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I do believe it's not the acutal divorce decree that needs modifying, it's the custody and visitation schedule. While those are usually written in the decree, it's a seperate issue all together, and if you get a new visitation and custody settlement, it will trump what the divorce papers say.

    Now, what your DH needs to do is get a darn attorney, and take the BM to court to modify the current order. Not hard to get that ball rolling...until the court date, DOCUMENT everything this woman says to you two. It's not hard to get joint custody. Unless BM can prove you two unfit, I fail to see why any judge would deny it. It's not gonna change much at all, only the visitation schedule will. She can fight it, but ultimately it's up to the judge, and if she's being unreasonable, it won't look to good on her. It's all about the child, and what is in HIS best interests.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 11:44 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Holidays should have been done but that's water under the bridge now. Get a Legal Aid attorney or call the court house and see how to get a Pro Bono attorney. It usually costs $40 for the initial consultation but that's all. This does need to be modified and she can't ask for $700 just bc she wants something. That has to go through the court as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • A 60" TV for a nine year old?............. sure, I bet it was for the SS. Outragious

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 8:10 AM on May. 4, 2010

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