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I just read something that shocked me!

In reference to having an affair ~
"I don't believe monogamy is always a good thing, honestly, I think it rarely is. I don't understand what the big deal is... Affairs are almost always based on sex, a good marriage never is. Affairs are tools to fill the needs of a person when those needs aren't being filled at home. It has nothing to do with their partner and doesn't say anything against the person... It just says they are human and have needs! "

Do people really believe this way? So much for marriage being sacred!


Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on May. 3, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Sounds like someone is making excuses for her own infidelity. Marriage is sacred. It's people who fail to maintain that sacred state, then blame the marriage for their failings.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:38 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I think humans were never designed for lifetime monogamy. Our biology shows that the ideal situation is one man and many women. There are lots of factors in this. Why else would women's cycles sychronize when they live in close quarters if they were not designed to be pregnant at the same time? Why else would a woman's sexuality be more fluid than a man's? Why else do women require more than just their husband to meet all their emotional needs (think about this one... you don't go to your husband for EVERYTHING. Sometimes you call your mom or your best friend, etc)? Why do 50% of men admit to cheating on their wives? The size of the testicles of a male of the primate family is inversely proportionate to the fidelity of the female... we are somewhere in the middle, meaning not totally wild, but not meant to be monogomous either. CONT

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:55 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Humans designed monogamy to help keep the social order, but I don't believe that at our basest nature, it is what we were designed for.

    That said, I am married and mutually monogamous with my husband lol. I follow the societal norms because I recognize their value, and was raised to believe that a relationship needs to be strong and sturdy, and because I know it would devastate my husband if I had an affair. i would never hurt him like that.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:57 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Who knows? I am almost shocked by nothing I read on here anymore!!!!!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:58 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I think our intelligence should be able to rise us above the animal instincts.Who you going to listen to,your brain or your genitals?

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 12:00 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I still believe in the sanctity of marriage. If people don't want to be monogamous don't get married (or else marry someone who doesn't care). And yes, one important part of my marriage is a WONDERFUL sex life. Because honestly yes, good marriages do focus on sex. Not saying that's the ONLY focus lol, but it is a big part of it, ask any happily married man :-). DH and I have been to many marriage building seminars both religious and non religious, and all of them have stressed that for a marriage to be happy IN MOST cases, the sex life of the married couple must be good. I do believe people are perfectly suited for monogamy, it's our own greed and lack of self control that prevents some people from BEING monogamous.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 12:05 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Well if this is so true, why then should Tiger's wife be upset or Sandra Bullock. Why is it when those subjects come up, we all feel sorry for these women. I am sorry but it is ingrained in every woman, whether they want to admit or not, to be loved by a man who loves them only. I feel women who say different are looking to try to understand their unfaithful significant other. Men use to have moral character and women don't hold them to that any more. Men have BS woman into believing their crap, so they can run around and do whatever the heck they want. Now this isn't all men, there are still men with moral character. But woman today are letting men run all over them today, we enable them. Give an inch and they take a mile.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Sounds like someone who might be trying to justify their own bad behavior or find a way to excuse their spouses indescretions. I am not shocked by anything I read on Cafemom there are some odd ducks on here.

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 12:09 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • lmao.... I needed a good giggle this morning, thanks.

    12 years into a great marriage, with a healthy sex life....never had the urge to cheat. and neither has he.

    if you don't want monogamy....don't get married.

    Answer by hypermamaz at 12:15 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Let's see, heading towards my 21st anniversary and we have been completely faithful with no urge to cheat on either part.
    My parents would have celebrated their 45th anniversary this year and they were completely faithful during their entire marriage. They both died in 2003.

    I think that that statement is just one person's way of justifying their infidelity.

    As far as comparing us to wild primates - I'll be more inclined to look at those comparisons when primates are living in civilization as we do.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:22 PM on May. 3, 2010