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I just read something that shocked me! (posted in JFF too)

In reference to having an affair ~
"I don't believe monogamy is always a good thing, honestly, I think it rarely is. I don't understand what the big deal is... Affairs are almost always based on sex, a good marriage never is. Affairs are tools to fill the needs of a person when those needs aren't being filled at home. It has nothing to do with their partner and doesn't say anything against the person... It just says they are human and have needs! "

Do people really believe this way? So much for marriage being sacred!


Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on May. 3, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • Uh what? The only part I agree with is that a good marriage isn't based on sex, but that doesn't give one licenseto go sleeping around with other people. In fact if you're sleeping around it's a pretty solid bet that your marriage isn't a good one. I mean I suppose if both partners agree to be in an "Open marriage" however in most cases it's only one person who is in the "open marriage". The other persons considered it cheating.   In marriage you should have respect for your spouse, and them you. I find that sleeping around is disrespectful not only to your spouse but to you as an individual.


    Answer by KristiS11384 at 3:54 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Wow! Seems to me that this person is a cheater and is looking for validation. What is the point of marriage if you're not going to be monogamous?!

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 11:53 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I think marriage is sacred and people who are married should only sleep with eachother!

    Answer by ria7 at 11:54 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I wonder if their (the person who said this) spouse is aware that this is the way they feel?

    Answer by DusterMommy at 11:55 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • Oh wow. I totally disagree with this. If that's how you feel, then you should stay single and not get married.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I know that is a bunch of BS, my sister and her hubby had sex ALL the time and he cheated on her more than once. She finally left his sorry butt. LOL!!! I really think that is someone who is cheating or wanting to cheat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on May. 3, 2010

  • I agree with everything that she,the referenced poster said. Not an single thing she said invalided the purpose of marriage. She just stated that marriage has a different purpose than be the outlet for sex. I don't see anything wrong with that. If your getting married just to have sex, far as I'm concerned that's the wrong reason to get married. Not everyone believes that monogamy is the best way to conduct relationships. I don't believe in it either.


    Answer by isabellalecour at 12:05 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Yeah, it has nothing to do with their partner... except that they are being disrespected, possibly infected with STD's that they had no part in contracting, they have to deal with possible resulting pregnancies and possible resulting emotional attachment from one or both adulterers, not to mention possible jealousy issues and the financial expenses for birth control and gas to get there, they have to deal with everyone snickering behind their back and God forbid any religious problems that may ensue... so yeah, it has NOTHING to do with their partner at all. Please.

    Answer by Shlamoof at 12:12 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Marriage is sacred and its not all about sex either, its about being there for each other and sex is not the top need to be met, its validating who you are....Does your spouse tell you that you are loved, precious beautiful or if thats not the love language that gets you then does he do things for you, spend time with you or is it that you just need to be held and touched ( non sexually) . Many couples do not know what the other's love language is. Mine are Words of Affirmation, Gift giving and Physical touch ( like hugs and non sexual touch) . Want to understand more ... read the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman ( yes it is a Christian author but all can benefit)
    Communication is also essential in a marriage as well, when we lack that then we have issues. Im telling you this from experience.
    Affairs is a bad tool that destroys a marriage and destroys the trust that was supposed to be there. It does not benefit cont

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 12:23 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • anyone except the satisfaction below the belt line ! When you have an affair your not only one with your spouse but one with the other person and so when the person who had the affair ... not only made out with that person but the wife too.. and vice versa if the person who had the affair is with his wife she is also with the girl he made out with.. This is why many many spouse have a KNOWING that there is another person. You can just sense it spiritually.
    This is another reason affiars are NOT an affective tool but a destructive one.

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 12:26 PM on May. 3, 2010