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everyone is divided what should i do?

ok so last week i found my husband txtin another woman thathe was skipping his class to go see her and i blew up at him and he left later that day i started having contractions and went to the hospital and was put on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy and when i told him about it he blew me off but since ha been going to my twice weekly appt and we have tlked about where things stand for our relationship he says this girl isa friend but he dosent want to come home he likes where he is i have 2 other kids and i really need his help but he refuse to stay with us he says he says hes afraid he wont be a good dad because of not having one him self and that hes not used to being loved and dont know how to handle it i have asked every one i kow and they are split right down the middle half say leave him hes not worth it and the other half says if u truly love him and thats really all thats going on support him and help him through

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on May. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • he was gone so last week.. he is leaving the decision up to you cause he doesnt want to sound like the bad guy. but when he tells you he is happy where he is and doesnt know how to love?? thats his way of telling you he is leaving you. sorry but that is what i see in your message
    BUDDHASBABY1

    Answer by BUDDHASBABY1 at 12:35 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I say go file for child support and get some much needed help. Set your emotions aside for now and think of how you're going to feed yourself and your children. He apparently doesn't give a crap how you're feeling, since he left.. He needs to grow up, and for now you need to move forward and think of you and your children.... GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:36 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • and this "friend" is so not a friend...if he is cutting class and texting her all the time and staying with her, she is not a friend.. not at all. i would ask him to prove it if you want to keep him around. ask to see his text messages. ask to go to his place sometime and just show up unannounced and if they are sleeping in the same room same bed kind of thing then i wouldnt worry yourself at all.. that shows that he i
    BUDDHASBABY1

    Answer by BUDDHASBABY1 at 12:38 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • is not with you anymore.
    BUDDHASBABY1

    Answer by BUDDHASBABY1 at 12:38 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • You think now that you can't do it yourself, and it will be hard, but you will be able to do it by yourself. In the long run it will be better for you and the children. Most men don't change. Be strong let him go. My x husband had an affair and left when my kids were 3 and 5 at the time I thought i would die. now I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. That was 8 years ago now I'm remarried and just had a little girl. Life will go on . Hang in there.
    mommom2000

    Answer by mommom2000 at 12:39 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • he wont tell me where he is but i do know hes NOT living with her i have been to her house explained the situation and she let me search her house and in vited me back hes not with her
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I'm so sorry but I don't think you can trust him. He was at the very least texting another woman and now since he doesn't live with you he can do whatever he wants with her and lie to you about it. And that line about him not having a father so he doesn't think he can be a good one is just that, a line. It sounds like he bailed and the other girl is the icing on the cake. He doesn't want the responsibility of a family and this is his way of getting out. He sounds like a complete loser leaving his pregnant wife and not helping when you need it the most. Gather your family and friends, you'll need them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Do what you think is best for the baby and yourself, and your other kids. Do you really think having a guy around who isn't helping out will make it easier on yourself. I'm assuming the other two kids aren't his... so.. do you think he'd be a good father to them? Ask yourself those questions.. no one can tell you what to do.
    I can tell just by reading this that you're very upset with him. Maybe just give him some time to think things through.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • i know he will be a great dad he was wonderful with my girls he was very loving with them and playful he would tuck them in and read them bedtime stories kiss them goodnight he was always there and now he jut walked away i honestly think the thought of loving his own child is what scares him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • My x husband also said the girl was just a friend. A month later they were living together and then a year later married and a year later divorced. He might have been good to your children but he is being horrible to you. Think of yourself.
    mommom2000

    Answer by mommom2000 at 12:58 PM on May. 3, 2010

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