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Major Question... NEED ADVICE!

I have a daughter who is a year old. I am no longer with her dad, but I am dating someone new. I have known the guy I am dating for at least 8 or 9 years. We hang out with a lof of his friends. I got a message today from his ex girlfriend telling me that his best friend (who's house we always go to) is a registered sex offender. I looked it up and he is. So I asked my boyfriend about it and he said he knew and was going to tell me but basically didn't know how to bring it up. (he is very very shy). He told me we could talk about it later because we are both at work. But do I get upset at the boyfriend for not telling me or what? I already told him that those things need to be brought to my attention because of my daughter and he knows that. But do I make a big case about it, or just leave it at that?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on May. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • I would rethink about who I'm hanging out with... For your daughters sake it might be wise to find new friends.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 2:45 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Do you know what the charges were on the guy?? there are SOOOO many ways he could have gotten in troule without being a creep KWIM I mean my old neighbor was a RSO because when he was in college he got drunk and passed out and his "buddies" stripped him naked and left him in a park so indecent exposure = RSO... I would see if your BF knows that info first if he doesnt or it is something big I would be a little upset if he didnt know and didnt tell me PISSED if it were for child porn or something simiilar b if it were something like IE or Statutory or something like that I would just ask him to talk to you and not be worried of your respons
    mamachef694

    Answer by mamachef694 at 2:45 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Well, what is he a registered sex offender because of? Did he have sex with a 16 year old when he was 18 or did he molest a little kid? Obviously there is a pretty big difference as far as your daughter is concerned. He should have brought this to your attention and I would have a long talk with him about the fact that he needs to be able to come to you with things like this whether he is shy or not and that your top priority is the safety, well being and happiness of your daughter so he needs to support you in that and have your back otherwise he is not being the kind of man that you need in your life. But I think it is probably forgiveable, unless this friend has a history of molesting babies in which case your man put your child in extreme danger all because he was shy- what would happen if he saw his friend do something to your child, would he be too shy to tell you? Find out the story and maybe he needs a new friend. GL!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:46 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I would be upset that he didnt tell. Im sure it is hard to bring up but if your dd has been over there with u then he should have told u! It is different kinda if it is only adults hanging out or depending on what the charge was for but if it involved a child and your dd has been there he shoulda told you. Its like he was protecting his friend and not your dd. On the other hand guys dont think about stuff like this like mothers or women do so he probably didnt realize the severity of it. What was the guy charged with?!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:47 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • What kind of sex offender is he? their are different kinds you know. Not all want to rape small children.
    You should make it perfectly clear that kind of stuff you need to know about.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:58 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I don't know what the charge was for. It was something that happened a while back and the guy is now 23 years old. I talked to my boyfriend about it a little and explained how important it is that I know these things and he understands that. He feels really bad too. We still said we'd talk about it later so I'm not sure how much he knows or doesn't know. Thanks for your help ladies!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Well I am guessing because it was his ex who told you this, that it is for a child charge and not JUST a 16 having sex with an 18 year old.. so I guess I would question how your BF could befriend someone like that.. so if it IS a charge like that then YES, you have the right to be mad at the boyfriend too... and then how could you ever even leave her with your BF? What if that person came over while you were gone? so now you will be dating someone you can't trust alone with your BF Also.. Does that make sense?? I know I wouldn't be friends with a man or women who is a sex offender so how can he still be friends with somelike that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • You VISIT at this house not live there. He is around with your daughter NOT BABY SITTING. PEOPLE CHANGE. You don't know the FULL STORY. For all you know it could have been public urination while he was drunk. Don't get mad yet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • The registry should tell you the offense.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Well, if he is registered then doesn't that mean he isn't allowed to have little girls at his house? Or maybe that just depends on the offense or punishment. I really don't know, but you would think if they are not allowed to live by a school or park that they can't have little kids inside their house either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on May. 3, 2010

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