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Spin off: Kindergarten "Bonus Year" for boy/girl twins when only one needs it?

Situation: I have boy/girl twins with an August birthday. My girl is very advanced, and my boy is a little behind. Without consideration of his twin sister, I believe my boy could greatly benefit from staying back an extra year before starting kindergarten. I don't believe my girl needs a "bonus year", but I also don't think it is a good idea to have them in different grades; I would need some very strong arguments to convince me separating them into different grades is a good idea.

Questions: What might be the negative effects of giving my daughter a "bonus year" when she doesn't need one? What do you think you would do if these were your children?



Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on May. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I've taught kindergarten before and I say don't wait! Put your children in kindergarten and if they (or he) needs an additional year then deal with it when the time comes, but give him the chance and you might be surprised on how well he adjusts and learns. Believe me in a whole school year they make such progress and it is definitely not the same that they would be getting in pre-school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I would ask the girl it should be her decision. She should be able to understand what you are asking. Ask he she wants to move ahead with out her brother or des she want to stay with him

    Answer by robinalbright at 3:13 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • wow, tough one mom!
    i think i would keep them together.
    how old are they now?
    my b/g twins were born in the spring, so i am guessing i won't have this issue.
    my neighbor has triplets with fall birthdays, and her plan is to keep them all back...but they aren't even 2 yet!
    the only negative for your daughter that i can think of would possibly be some resentment later on. girls tend to deal better with boredom in the classroom than boys, not always but it seems to be the trend.
    hopefully someone that has gone through this can give you a better answer!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 3:15 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Wow, I never thought of this. I would probably keep them both back, it shouldn't hurt her to learn the stuff over and maybe she will be able to help him along.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 3:24 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I think everyone can benefit from a bonus year. I would keep them together, but first I would ask to speak to the kindergarten teacher or the school principal and see what her opinion was.

    Answer by mompam at 3:24 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I would push her ahead and seperate them. They need to feel like they are seperate people and make their own friends. If you keep her behind she can actually fall behind becasue she is bored or because she thinks that she should be on the same level as her brother. If you give her an extra year, you should at least put her in a different class then her brother.

    Answer by Vins_mom09 at 4:20 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I don't know what I'd do. My 2nd DD was born in May, and our neighbors had b/g twins less than 2 months later. The boy wasn't ready for K, but they couldn't see seperating the kids, so they are both a year behind my DD. They're happy and thriving.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • "I believe my boy could greatly benefit from staying back an extra year before starting kindergarten."

    I think some read this as if they are already in kindergarten and are going to stay back and get a "bonus year" of kindergarten. Would it just be a bonus year of staying home or going to preschool? There are kids of all levels in kindergarten. Kids that don't know anything as far as colors, letters, shapes, taking turns and then there are others that are a couple of years advanced (all regular classes have this wide span of difference). I don't think he'll feel out of place or "not do well". I wouldn't wait if it were my kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • Thanks all! I'm worrying way in advance. They are currently in preschool. They will not be elligible for kindergarten for another year, so things could change by then. If they had been born on their due date they wouldn't even be elligible for two more years. My daughter seems older than my son; she was born looking several weeks older than him, and she has done everything before him. I think I am more worried about social/maturity issues than academics; he just seems so much younger than she does.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on May. 4, 2010