Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


My dd is almost 16 and has been dating a boy for about 2 years. she shares everything with me, and whenever he comes over they sit up with me and talk and we watch tv, play wii, etc. I honestly feel they really love and respect each other. However, this summer she wants him to sleepover. I think it would probably be fine. What do you think? She also has brought up going to his cabin with his family this summer.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on May. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Absolutely not

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:48 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Having been a sexually active teen, I can tell you that she will do what she wishes, in or out of your home. Personally, I would prefer knowing that my child is at home, safe.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:07 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Having gone through the same thing last summer I say two things, NO WAY! and 2. If you do say yes, make sure they are using birth control. Because there are only a couple of reason s to sleepover. Drinking and sex. I know this sounds very pessimistic, but, I have a 17 yo dd who last summer was dating the love of her life, someone she was with for 2 years, and shared everything with. We had sooooo many conversations about everything. And sex and birth control were always the most important ones. Please don't take this the wrong way, I am sure your dd is a very nice girl and her bf too, but don't be surprised. I agree with ObbyDobbie, they will have sex if they want to, they may already have, My dd is an honor student involved in lots of activities, he bf too, They are no longer a couple and it was a very difficult time for her. Just have the conversation with her, and ask why she wants him to sleepover. JMO!

    Answer by wallmom1 at 7:31 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • NO. If you don't want him sleeping over, end of story. If you don't want her going to his cabin overnight, end of story.
    If YOU do not want her to be sexual active, then the message is best sent by 1) telling her and 2) not letting her be in over night situations with her boyfriend.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:01 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • OH and to add, my oldest sons are 20 yr old twins with one getting married in July. He and his girlfriend are both virgins and the one time that she had to stay at our house because her family was out of town during Christmas holidays and she was working and not wanting to be home alone at night - she slept on the pull out sofa and he slept upstairs in his twin bed.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:02 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I was never allowed to sleep over my boyfriends' houses as a teenager. That neither discouraged nor stopped me from having sex as a teen. Whatever you do, make sure you talk about birth control-condoms AND a back-up. My mother talked to me about sex and birth control, but she made it clear that she wanted me to wait until marriage. Since I was well-informed, I used condoms and birth control---but I never told my mother I was sexually active, even denying it when asked.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • NO. What are you going to do? Shut the door and let them have their privacy because they're better offf having sex at your home? Not every teen will boink out in public. God, sometimes parents disgust me. Some teens actually DO wait...amazing isn't it??????

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • i think its fine. when i was 16, i started dating my ex who was 20 - my family met him and etc. - i slept over his house all the time. i didnt up with a baby at 16 or anything crazy like that.
    i mean, i would speak to her about birth control & things like that but shes probably had sex with him or will have sex with him wether you let him sleep over or not.
    in two years, shes going to be adult. i dont see anything wrong with it. i think moms on here are way too strict sometimes. you have to let your kids enjoy there life too.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:20 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • First off it sounds like she is in a long term and committed relationship and that she trusts you enough to even ask you if he can sleep over. I would assume they are already having sex and using protection and if you are comfortable with it then let him sleep over. It really all depends on your personal comfort level. Good luck and let us know what you decide.

    Answer by MargieMc1974 at 10:38 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • What is she implying by asking if he can sleep over? Does she mean innocently or not? That's the first question. Next step, give her the full rundown on birth control options- send her to a doctor, if she wants to go. You can pretend she is just going to ask questions, if that helps her feel comfortable getting birth control. You can, by all means express you personal desire for her to be abstinate, and give her the information to protect herself. It sounds like you have a good relationship.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 1:27 PM on May. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.