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I feel like a bad mom because I am too busy for my kids most of the time.

I am 25 years-old and have two little boys. We've been going through a transitional period here lately. I lost my job and just started training to do an at home job taking calls. It will take about another week for me to actually start working and earning income. I also attend school online and have been trying to finish up my end of semester stuff. On top of th regular househole stuff and errands, I have job training and school work to do. My husband helps some, but not as much as I'd like for him to. He's looking for a job right now, so I know he's here to help out with the kids, but most of the time we send them in their room to watch a movie or out in the back yard to play together. They want to be spending time with us, but I keep sending them away cuz I'm so busy right now. I spent some time reading to them tonight and put them to bed (like a good mom), but it's hard for me to get in the habit of doing this.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on May. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • CONT. I guess I just feel guilty that I am doing the right things with them like reading to them instead of letting them watch so much TV. I love my kids, but I find myself getting frustrated with them, yelling at them, and telling them they are driving me crazy. I end up coming back to them and apologizing for saying those things that might have been hurtful. I feel enormous guilt right now and I just want us to be settled in a normal, comfortable routine and this transition time to just be over.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • they grow-up fast take a half hour every day to just play with them & five min before bed to read to them.. also always have a sit down dinner with them where they can share their day with you.. you got to make time now because as I said they grow up fast & you will regret it if you don't. PS- ask hubby to help out more

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:28 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Reading to them does not matter at all.

    You don't say how old they are. Of course you are being a bad mom. You are looking for people to tell you it's ok. It's not. You only have one chance with your kids. Working and going to school is too much when you have young kids.

    Of course it's best if you are a full time mother and know how to do a good job at mothering. If you can't do that you should choose work or school. You can get so much money from financial aid there should be no reason to need to work. My son is going to college and not working at all and his wife only works part time so they can be with thier 18 mo and they are making it. I have 2 sons in college, I know and I was recently in grad school, I know all about financial aid.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:29 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I think most women want to do more than we really can. We try to be super-women, and do it all, but we're not.

    That's probably why it's so crucial to sort priorities, and even write them down so you can see them on paper. Okay, so maybe you can't stop working now that hubby is unemployed, but maybe you can forget about a lovely swept floor in the name of having some reading time with your boys. All those little things really do add up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Dont feel bad it happen to us all, even sahm's. What you need to do is let them know when work time is, thats the time when they go and play in thier room or outside while you get some work done. Then you tell them your break time, thats the time when you play, talk, share some time with eachother, you could tell them like form 12-3 its work time at 3:15 its break, so wait until 3:15 come and get me and we spend time together, so thats way they know when your busy and when they could bother you,lol. I know its hard but you need to kinda make it a litlle bit fun for them so they could understand and thats way they dont get you frustrated. But you need to see thats things are changing around, things are not going to be like before. Sitting down and talking with your kids is a good idea,( well if they are old enough to understand) Also have you husband help you out so that the both of you's spend some time with the kids.continue

    Answer by yamil519 at 10:31 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • .continue
    Remember that as hard as its on you its also hard on your kids. I wish you the best of luck trying to find it all together!

    Answer by yamil519 at 10:32 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • Whatever you do, don't listen to Gailll...she just posts on CM to put other people down

    Reading to your children IS important. Let them know how much they mean to you and spend as much time as possible with them-even if its just a few minutes here and there it will add up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • OP: Gaill, I appreciate your opinion and think you are probably correct in saying that I am being a bad mom when I tell my kids to go away and things like that; However, I am not looking for validation for the way im parenting my children nor do I think "it's okay" or am I looking for someone to tell me that it's "okay". I am trying to get my feelings out to see if there are any other moms who have been through this and how they have overcome it. I appreciate your advice about taking out loans although being saddled with debt once I'm out of college wasn't what I had in mind. My father has been helping me with tuition. I enjoy working and contributing to my family as well as bettering myself with a college education I only have about 23 hours left YAY! Thank you for being so honest. I didn't want you to misinterpret my post in thinking I want people to feel sorry for me. I always enjoy hearing how women overcome Cont.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • cont. challenges. Being a mom isn't easy and my kids wont be litte forever. btw my children are 5 and 2. Anyway, I hope you understand where I am coming from now. God Bless.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on May. 3, 2010

  • I feel like a bad mother too because I go to school - I put my youngest in a headstart program (she's 3) - which is really like a glorified day care. I was thinking about getting a job too but I can't spend that much time away from my kids. I understand what you mean though - sometimes my kids make me crazy too.
    Just try to be patient. Take a deep breath. You're not a bad mom because you're impatient but if you feel like you're being too harsh (which I do too sometimes), try to breath and fake it - even if you're upset.

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 11:30 PM on May. 3, 2010

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