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Can anyone relate?

My sister, 35, is married with one child, 4. Sis left her husband and daughter because she wanted a single life - nothing wrong with that, but the way she went about it really stung the entire family. She's not herself - very selfish, wants to party every night, flirts with any Tom, makes plans to hang out with her girlfriends on the weekends rather than spending time with her daughter. Has anyone experienced anything like this? She's acting like a teenager (no offense to teens). I mean, she's a 35 year old adult woman, who's all of a sudden making these dumb choices! Is it something that will pass? Should she be on some kind of meds? I know it's not really any of my business, but my brother-in-law and niece live with my mom, and now grandma is pulling "mommy" duties - just totally not fair!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on May. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Did she ever have a chance to "sow her wild oats"
    typically when a person is young they party and sow their oats and grow out of it.
    if this does not happen....well then it happens at a later time in life...like the 30's or the 40's
    This is what happened to me and many others I know
    If she has had that time in life to "sow her oats" then maybe she is depressed not in a clinical way where all you want to do is sleep all day...but in a way where she is having some difficulties in her choices and does not know what to do about it so she parties.
    could also be as plain and simple as the influance of a new man in her life..men can really screw things up for a woman.
    These are my thoughts hope it has helped
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • This sounds like my mom. The only difference is she's 39 and has 5 kids. She left us 4 older children with dad and left with the youngest. She likes to party and all that stuff. She is really immature and the youngest is 12 and has told her that he would rather live with me and my fiance.
    shadowsgrl09

    Answer by shadowsgrl09 at 9:32 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • Yep, this is MY mom. She's 40, 4 kids, a husband, and started running around with my stepdad's best friend since 2nd grade. Immature? Yeah. Aggrivating? Hell yeah. She has a grandbaby she can't make time to come see 2 hours away, but can hop in "boytoy's party bus" to every single living Chief's game, no matter where it is. She's bringing my two younger sisters, 8 and 12, in at 11pm, sometimes later, from "boytoy's" house, even on school nights. My younger brother, 17, is so distraught, he was once head of his class, football star, gonna-graduate-early and go to D1 school... he's now flunking and in counseling 3x a week.

    She had me when she was 16, so I guess this is her "time" to "find herself." I'm bold enough to say that if I didn't get all my partying out, I'd wait until my kids were grown and take my husband out and party the hell out of myself, because he's THAT much FUN! Either way, it's a HUGE mistake, and not a
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 10:51 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • A sudden change in a person's personality & behavior is a cause for concern! If you can, I would try talking to her to see if something happened to make her change so suddenly. There could be a medical reason for the change (hormones off, tumore, seizures, etc.), although if it is a mental health disorder (schitzophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.), there may be little, if anything, you can do to help her until she seeks out help herself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • damn thing anyone can do about it. She's messed up in her head, going out, spending all this money, putting a big stereo system in her brand-new Tahoe my stepdad's still footing the bill for, he's been paying the house payment for over a year, alone, now, insurance, all the bills, etc, and my mom wants half of his inheritance money in the divorce. Which is NOT hers to take. Ugh. It's just soooo ugly! Both his parents and older sister have died in the last 15 years, and all he has left is his baby brother, and my mom wants "her share."

    She'll settle for leaving my grandmother's antique mohogany kitchen table if she can have the matching pie cabinet.

    She doesn't even LIKE the furniture! She wants it so she can sell it, cause she "saw one just like it on Craigslist! And it was $1400!"

    I could go on for days. Just know you're not alone. Buh. It sucks.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 10:54 AM on May. 4, 2010

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