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I need reassurance.

Life isn't bad right now. I love my husband, we have a beautiful baby girl and another baby boy on the way in a few weeks. But I'm honestly freaking out. I just can't shake the feeling that something always happens when things seem good. I can't picture having another baby, although I pray everything turns out okay. I'm constantly worried about dd and is she healthy, is she into anything that may kill her, will I find her not breathing one morning? I have a friend who lost a son to SIDS who is having a fundraiser soon, so I've been hearing A LOT about deaths and then coming to this site with all the sad stories you has me expecting or anticipating the worst. I've been feeling this way through my whole pregnancy. I was sure I was gonna miscarry, and thankfully not. Now I'm just waiting for the problem to arise. Why can't I just enjoy things!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on May. 4, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • Well, first of all, don't read any more sad stories on CM. You always ALWAYS hear and remember more negative than positive in your life. Always. Get through this fundraiser and then do your best to avoid talking about or hearing about sad things.

    I know it's hard to stop worrying... I've been there. I still have to reassure myself that my daughter really is breathing in her bed. But know that statistics are REALLY on your side here. Expecting bad things to happen is only going to stress you out. You have less than 1% chance of losing this baby now. I know it's scary and I know that it's hard not to feel like you're going to be that unlucky 1%. Just relax as much as you can. And lean on someone for support. You don't have to do this alone.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:05 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • You know, I started thinking the same things when I was pregnant with my son. Don't get me wrong, I worried about things with my daughter. But I don't ever remember thinking about her dying in her sleep, or getting into something that would make her sick, ect. But since having my son, I freak out about that stuff! He's just getting over a cold and the first night he was sick, I put him in bed with me and was afraid to go to sleep because I was worried that he would stop breathing. Anytime he goes into another room, I worry that he's going to get into something, or grab a knife out of the drawer and things like that. We keep safety locks on our cupboards, and meds are always up out of reach, but I still worry.
    I don't know if that helps much, but just know that you're not alone with these feelings. I've wondered if its something to do with the hormones that change with having a boy... IDK. Hang in there! pm me if you want to!

    Answer by Megs5384 at 1:07 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • first of all, i am so sorry you are feeling this way. pregnancy does weird things to your mind. you should start reading and watching things that lift you up and make you feel good. you are so blessed to be where you are. you might should talk to your doctor ASAP about how you are feeling. i am sure they will have good advice/meds that will help you take the edge off and feel better. it sounds to me that youa re struggleing with some depression and anxiety. there are things that can help make you feel better. try to focus on the more positive things and practice looking at the great things in your life...your daughter, your husband, your new baby boy comeing soon, you know what i mean? take a deep breath and when you start to feel the heaviness, look at the facts. like the above poster said. good luck!! try to smile and relax, life is good!

    Answer by Preggydyke at 1:23 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • OP- thanks to you all! Hearing that others have done this, is reassuring. I just somehow feel that expecting or worrying about bad things...somehow means they are most likely to happen. Must just be hormones and anxiety creeping up again... plus I think that I've always felt that my daughter is just so cool and can I possibly expect to experience that again??? You know? I just can't picture having another one that is as cool and awesome and it's like I can't picture raising him yet. Plus this fundraiser and it's my FRIEND, and she lost her SON, and I'm helping with the fundraiser however I can...but it's just constant new pics of babies who died and sad poems and memorials and I can't ignore her or delete her or tell her to cut it out...because then I'd be heartless. But ahhhh!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • Oh darling, I read this and kept thinking...yes, yes...yes! I have so been there. Heck, I am here in it now. At 28 weeks I started feeling like I was losing it. I have an amazing life...much like what you talked about. My first pregnancy was pretty bad and this one hasn't been easy either. At 26 weeks I finally stopped puking and had a bit more energy. I started to kind of wonder if something was wrong. Then my odd symptoms started. My heart would start to race, usually when I was just sitting on the couch doing nothing. I would start to get short of breath. I would start to have visual changes, seeing sparklies and what not. I was sure that I had pre-eclampsia or my thyroid. Turns out I was having "subconscious panic attacks". Had no idea that they existed. My doc put me on Lexapro and the crazy thoughts have stopped and the stress I was dealing with is manageable now. Hang in there! You are SO not alone! Talk with your doc!

    Answer by jdelain79 at 3:29 AM on May. 4, 2010

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